Other Sheep Blog

In America, Nigeria and Uganda: Religious Freedom is denied when the Civil Rights of the LGBT community are limited by the government on the basis of religious belief

2012-01-05T10:28:00.006-05:00

by Rev Stephen Parelli
Other Sheep Executive Director
Williamsburg Plantation, Williamsburg, Virginia
December 27 & 28, 2011

"There is no power out of the church that could sustain slavery an hour, if it were not sustained in it"

-Albert Barnes

Minister of the First Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia from 1830-1867

Monday, while visiting Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia, Jose and I, reading a plaque commemorating the 1777 "Act Establishing Religious Freedom" in Virginia, were reminded again how fortunate we are to live in a country where an establishment of religion and the state cannot legally be wedded.

Plaque commemorating religious freedom in Virginia.
The commemorative plaque is displayed on the walls of
the Burton Parish Church, Colonial Williamsburg, VA
(Episcopalian)

Even so, there are those in America who would (and already have by state amendments) impose their religious beliefs as the "law of the land" in matters of civil rights as it pertains to marriage equality. (For just one example, view this film documentary on the Mormon church and Proposition 8.)

Burton Parish Church (Episcopalian), Colonial Williamsburg, VA, where the commemorative plaque on religious freedom in Virginia is found.

Uganda and Nigeria are present examples where the civil rights of the LGBT minority are limited on the basis of the religious beliefs of the heterosexual majority. Yet, not all religious leaders (be they Jewish, Christian or Muslim) are in agreement that marriage equality and the homosexual lifestyle are in conflict with belief in God. Where true liberty is the objective, government has the obligation to protect the free exercise of all its people in matters of belief and practice, including minorities who may adobt a belief and practice different from the majority.

Since its inception in 1992, Other Sheep has, in good conscience and by disciplined academics and Biblical scholarship, shown how, in our opinion, Christianity is not in conflict with a homosexual lifestyle. While respecting the individual rights of those who would differ, I find it un-American, inhumane, and contrary to worldwide human rights principles, for heterosexuals, based on their understanding of God, to limit the civil rights of homosexuals through the enactment of laws and constitutional amendments.

Ugandan LGBT human rights activist and martyr David Kato, left, with Steve Parelli discussing the interfacing of religious freedom and human rights, Kampala, Uganda, 2007

The UN, in its November 17 historic report (released on Dec. 15) on LGBT human rights violations cites, in its section "Applicable international standards and obligations," the right to religious freedom as a basic human right.

While the emphasis of the UN study is on discrimination based on sexual orientation, I would like to highlight that discrimination against homosexuals is by-and-large, as I have observed it, rooted in a discrimination against others based on religion. This abridgement of religious freedom through the enactment of civil laws by the heterosexual majority in America, Uganda and Nigeria, strikes at the very core of Western liberties and ideals where the state and religion are each separate in their sphere of operation and office of authority.

For America, Uganda or Nigeria to enact laws against homosexuals based in a sacred text of "thus saith the Lord" (the Torah, the Koran, the New Testament or some other) is the height of religious discrimination. It is an immense step backwards in the progress of human dignity. Each individual has the God-given right to live before his or her Creator according to one's own understanding of God and what God may or may not be saying.

Merry Christmas Muslim Style

2011-12-22T08:49:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas Muslim Style - Our 2011 Christmas Letter

Written November 28, 2011

by Rev. Steve Parelli

Just two days ago, from the hospital bed where my daughter Rebecca lay, with a bit of an alarm in her voice she asked me a question that put a smile on my face. “Don’t you wonder what they are talking about!” she asked. “No,” I said, “not the least bit. I know Jose,” I said, “and I know he’ll say just what needs to be said and in a manner and tone that is consoling, reconciling.” Rebecca was referring to a phone conversation that Jose, my legal husband since 2008, was having in the hospital hallway with my estranged daughter Jennifer who was at the moment very, very upset with her father.

For Rebecca, there was some wonderment in my statement. In effect, I was saying they may be talking about me, but no worry. After all, Jose – the school guidance counselor that he is, and the parents and students of the south Bronx that he deals with on a daily basis – well, what’s there to fear or suspect or doubt! And besides, I know he always has my best interest at heart. He’s the perfect spouse for when “children” may turn to the other parent when the first parent is being “difficult.” I was witnessing again just how happy I am in this now 14-year relationship where the key to a happy marriage is by-and-large good communications and, certainly, respecting one’s spouse as the primary relationship.

So good is Jose as husband and . . . well, father . . . that Rebecca has come to refer to me and Jose as “my two dads.” That’s how she introduced us to the nurses and doctors who cared for her. “These are my two dads.” Which leads me into the meaning of 2011 for me. Two family-related events occurred in 2011 that were unique to just this year alone since 1997 when I first began living with my life partner. For the first time since 1997 I was (and Jose, too) invited to a family celebration – my nephew’s wedding; and for the first time since 1997 one of my own family – Rebecca (her husband was in Egypt) – celebrated a major holiday with Jose and me on the actual date of the holiday itself (on Thanksgiving day). I felt as happy as Scrooge having dinner with family on Christmas day. I wept when Rebecca said she was coming to spend Thanksgiving day with her father.

Oh yes, 2011 had all the usual wonderful adventures. There was a spring cruise originating from San Juan, Puerto Rico, for seven days in the Caribbean (I saw Martinique again for the first time since 1970). Our two months (July and August) in Asia this past summer with Other Sheep was remarkable. See www.othersheepexecsite.com for our stories from being threatened by police, to the unveiling of a new publication in Malayalam, to a spontaneous distribution of books with a nun at a Catholic college, to our TV interviews in Goa and the two page article on us in India Today a national weekly news magazine, and more. Back home, the Abington Journal of my college home town (Baptist Bible College of Clarks Summit, PA) did a front page story on Jose and me and our work with Other Sheep.

But the significant, unique events of 2011 were the “firsts” for me with my immediate family, i.e., celebrating with them on special occasions as an openly gay man in a gay marriage. There’s a message in all of this. Manny, Rebecca’s husband who is Muslim, strongly disapproves of Jose and me as a gay couple. He has told us so. Nonetheless, he has also told us that we are Rebecca’s father and her father’s spouse and will be respected and always treated as family. And he does just that without any reservation! Recently, Rebecca made this observation contrasting her husband and the majority of her family members. She said, “Dad, my husband is Muslim yet he shows more Christian love in accepting and respecting you and Jose – though contrary to his Muslim convictions as it pertains to homosexuality – than do my own family to their own flesh-and-blood son/sibling/father – and they are Christians.”

Which has caused me to think at times: What is the Gospel message? Perhaps it is wrapped up in the verse we call the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Perhaps that’s the Christmas message. At this stage in my life it appears that way to me.

Mark Twain once said that the passages in the Bible that give him the most difficulty are not the ones he doesn’t understand but the ones he does understand. Perhaps the golden rule is one of those difficult passages: easy to understand but not so easy to put into practice. It is a difficult passage for me at times. I hope I’ll do better in loving my neighbor in 2012. It certainly feels great to be loved in tangible, memorable, family ways. In 2012 I
need to forward to others the love I’ve received from Rebecca and her husband, and from my brother and his wife and their family, and make it a Merry Christmas throughout the year so that 2012 may be as unique and special to someone else as 2011 has been to me.

Emmy Winner Charlotte Robinson asks Other Sheep Steve Parelli to comment on Leviticus 18 and Romans 1 in view of Rev. Donald Spitz's "hateful comment" that gays, according to the Bible, should be criminalized

2011-12-21T12:14:00.012-05:00

By Rev. Stephen Parelli
December 21, 2011
Bronx, NY

Today, OUTTAKE posted my comments on Lev. 18 & 20 and Romans 1 with the following title and introductory remarks:

"REV. DONALD SPITZ SAYS CRIMINALIZE GAYS"

" . . . We called on our openly gay Bible expert Rev. Stephen Parelli, Executive Director of Other Sheep in New York to explain this biblical misconception once and for all. Parelli stated . . . "

The following comments by Rev. Parelli appear on OUTTAKE blog, Dec. 21, 2011, and were written expressly for OUTTAKE on December 19, 2011, in the Bronx, NY

Lev. 18:22 and 20:13

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." NRSV

Levitical purity laws, of which Lev. 18:22 and 20:13 are a part, were Jewish religious laws, not universal moral and ethical laws, which served to define how the Jewish people were to live as a unique chosen people.

Two principles served to define the purity code, the second of which was the prohibition of mixing ‘kinds,’ such as mixing linen and wool in the making of clothes.

“The lyings-of-a-woman,” the English rendering of the Hebrew phrase אִשָּׁה מִשְׁכְּבֵי found in Lev. 18:22 and 20:13, and which is understood to refer specifically to anal penetration, fails the second principle of the “purity” code. Like mixing linen with wool, the male receptive partner is himself a combination of kinds – a male-female mixture.

At first sight, it is hard for us to wrap our heads around the idea that Lev. 18:22 and 20:13 have no more moral or ethical value for us today than the mixing of linin and wool in the making of clothes. We need to dismantle our present-day frame-work and see our preconceived ideas for what they unfortunately are: centuries-old, uninformed, so-called “biblical” biases against a misunderstood minority in society.

Romans 1:26-27a

“For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another.” NRSV

Elizabeth Stuart, in her book Gay and Lesbian Theologies: Repetitions with Critical Difference, says Paul uses these words “natural” and “unnatural” (“against nature” in the KJV), “to describe, not homosexual people, but Gentiles who characteristically engaged in same-sex activity, a characteristic that distinguishes them, not from heterosexuals, but from the Jews” [emphasis mine]. For all the exegesis one must engage in to grasp how Paul is not talking about homosexuality as we understand it today, Stuart’s statement is the best summary I’ve found and completely fits the context. Underline it. Save it. Repeat it to yourselves and others.

“Natural” and “unnatural” (“against nature” in the KJV) did not have for Paul the same meaning it has for us today. In ancient times, “unnatural” meant “unconventional” (cf. I Cor. 11:14-15 NRSV and Rom. 11:24 NRSV where long hair on a man is unnatural and where God himself does what is “contrary to nature”). Seneca, for example, refers to hot baths, banquets after sunset, potted plants and a man’s passive sexual role as all, equally “against nature”, i.e., contrary to custom.

Paul is not talking about homosexuals in contrast to heterosexuals, but rather about Gentiles whose customs are outside of the norm, especially in comparison to Jewish religious purity codes. Paul, therefore, is not condemning all same-sex acts, and certainly not homosexuality as an orientation.

Sexual Minorities in the Bible: the Positive Texts in the New Testament

2011-10-30T03:40:00.009-04:00

By Steve Parelli

Oct. 30, 2011

Bronx, NY

Photos by Steve Parelli, taken in July 2006 in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Tom Hanks

In September 2011, Other Sheep published to its web site Rev. Dr. Tom Hanks' new study entitled "Sexual Minorities in the Bible: the Positive Texts in the New Testament." Tom Hanks is the founder (1992) of Other Sheep. He is Other Sheep theologian and director of mission.

Rev. Dr. Tom Hanks, Buenos Aires, September 2011

Table of Contents
CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL PAPER
(60 pages in length)

1. Matthew: A publican declares the Good News to eunuchs and prostitutes.

2. Mark: The young man who fled naked portrays a Jesus in a hurry and crucified naked

3. Luke: The "beloved physician" tells of a Roman centurion with his "very beloved" slave.

4. Praxis (Acts) of the Apostles: Queer couples collaborate in mission to the Unclean

5. John: Jesus' Beloved Disciple subverts fundamentalism (selective literalism)

6. Romans: A gay apostle's queer letter to a "peculiar people" (in five tenement house churches)

7. 1 Corinthians: Sexual minority values replace family values (1 Cor. 5--7; 16:5-24)?

8. 2 Corinthians: Catalogs of sexual minority sufferings (oppression, violence)

Tom Hanks

9. Galatians: Evangelism + racism, sexism, xenophobia and homophobia: "Another gospel?"

10. Ephesians: Sexual sins that may not even be "named" (5:3, 12)

11. Philippians: Euodia and Syntyche threaten to split the church Lydia founded (4:2-3; 2:2)

12. Colossians and Philemon: The first Haustafeln andthe deconstruction of the patriarchal household

13. 1-2 Thessalonians: The woman (feminine side) in Paul and his companions

14. 1- 2 Timothy: Paul seeks to encourage his disciple, beloved but timid

15. Titus and his Cretan gay shaman

16. Hebrews: Sarah, Rahab and, the queerest of all - Melchizedek!

17. James: Married, but not so secret admirer of Rahab, the harlot

Tom Hanks

18. 1 Peter: "First pope," but married (and preferring Mark as travel companion)

19. 1-3 John: Friendship, not family, the foundation of civilized society

20. Revelation: The celibate followers of the Lamb vs. the Great Whore (Babylon = Rome

Appendix: Theodore W. Jennings, Jr. on the Beloved Disciple in The Man Jesus Loved: Homoerotic Narratives from the New Testament (Cleveland: Pilgrim, 2003)

40 Myths in the Seven "Clobber" Texts Unmasked with Exegetical Studies

2011-10-30T02:37:00.008-04:00

By Steve Parelli

Oct. 30, 2011

Bronx, NY

Photos by Steve Parelli, taken in July 2006 in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Tom Hanks

In September 2011, Other Sheep published to its web site Rev. Dr. Tom Hanks' new study entitled "40 Myths in the Seven 'Clobber' Texts Unmasked with Exegetical Studies" Tom Hanks is the founder (1992) of Other Sheep. He is Other Sheep theologian and director of mission.

The table of contents follows. CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL PAPER which is 71 pages in length.

Tom Hanks

Table of Contents

Eight Myths in the Homophobic Misinterpretations of Genesis 19:1-29 (Sodom)
Seven Myths in the Homophobic Misinterpretations of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13
Seven Myths in Homophobic Mistranslations of 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10
Three Myths in the Homophobic Mistranslations of Jude 7: Jude, Jesus, and Sodom: Homosexuality in Animals, Homophobia in Humans
Fifteen Myths in the Homophobic Interpretations of Romans 1:24-27

Tom Hanks

Appendix 1: "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" - Are you sure?

Appendix 2: Genesis 1-3: Inductive Studies

Tom's paper can be downloaded and printed for your personal and/or group use. Please remember Other Sheep and Rev. Tom Hanks in any reproduction, publication and distribution of this writing. We welcome you to read, use, print and publish any Other Sheep website writings and resources, remembering to acknowledge Other Sheep and each article's respective author.

A gay Christian man from Hong Kong writes his story: "Being gay and Christian is definitely not contradictory -- Acutually, it is a special blessing!"

2011-10-29T09:50:00.011-04:00

By Fergus Lo, Hong Kong
October 16, 2011

The following are excerpts. To see the article in full, click here.

Fergus Lo

On the Blessed Minoirty Community Fellowship
There were less than 20 people at the (Blessed Minority Community Fellowship) Friday evening meeting. To my surprise, some of the members shared their stories with me as if we were very close friends. I thought I would be a stranger among them, but they treated me as a friend who belonged. It was the love and trust I experienced that urged me to go to the meeting again the following Friday and the Fridays after.

Sodom and Gomorrah

On the Bible and Homosexuality
I never had a huge struggle between my two identities – gay and Christian, like some of my fellow brothers and sisters do. I had realized and accepted my sexual orientation before I started following Jesus, and when I did accept Jesus as my Savior it was at an welcoming and affirming LGBT church. It is true, however, that I was somewhat hit hard by the six passages in the Bible which are commonly used to condemn homosexuals. My friends at the church urged me not to take the verses literally but to study each passage in its historical and literary context: what is the background of each passage; to whom was the author writing – his intended reader; what was the time period or the culture in which the passage is set. Besides, there are Bible passages we don’t observe today like what we can and cannot eat or wear; and passages where women and men are treated differently.

Left to right: Fergus Lo, Steve Parelli, Paul Luca,
Felix Liew, Jose Ortiz. Meeting on sending
books on the Bible and homosexuality
to Beijing Christinas. July 19, 2010.
Kowloon, Hong Kong

On living in Hong Kong
There are many challenges for the gay person living in Hong Kong, and more so for the gay Christian living here.

On being Gay and Chrisitan
I am very grateful that God created me just as I am – a gay man, and that I am a Christian. God loves me unconditionally regardless of my sexual orientation. In fact, being gay enables me to see His abundant love from a perspective straight people do not necessarily experience. In addition, being a gay Christian enables me to put my feet in the shoes of other minoritycommunities more easily.

I would like to proclaim loudly that being a Christian and gay is definitely not contradictory. Actually, it is
a special blessing!

Why Uganda's Anti-Gay Legislation Is the World's Business: View

2011-10-28T08:47:00.012-04:00

This week, Uganda parliament moved to revive the anti-gay bill

By the Editors of Bloomberg, Oct 27, 2011 7:00 PM ET

Click here for the article on Bloomberg site

David Kato
Considered by many to be a father
of the Uganda Gay Rights
movement

Photo by Steve Parelli
Date and Place: August 19, 2007
Red Chili Hideaway,
Kampala, Uganda
Occasion: David Kato with Steve
Parelli, crafting an editorial

Uganda's anti-homosexuality bill just won't go away.

Last spring, an egregious proposal by a member of the ruling party to impose harsh penalties, including death, for homosexual acts was shelved for a second time when Uganda's parliament recessed without debating it. This week, parliament moved to revive the measure.

Homosexuality is already illegal in Uganda. The law would increase the maximum penalties, providing up to life imprisonment for homosexual acts and execution for so-called aggravated homosexuality -- repeated homosexual behavior, homosexual acts with a minor or a disabled person, and homosexual acts by anyone who is HIV-positive.

To see the article in full click here

The "ex-gay" cab driver's ring finger

2011-10-23T07:18:00.036-04:00

Overview:
Our New Haven “ex-gay” cab driver: I’m “ex-gay” but I struggle still with my same-sex attractions; and that’s the way it will be for the rest of my life – and Exodus admits now that that is what they mean by change, i.e., a life-long struggle.

By Rev. Stephen Parelli
Written October 22, 2011
Yale Divinity School, New Haven, Connectitcut

Chapel at Yale Divinity school
where I wrote the
text to this blog immediately
following my conversation with
the "ex-gay" cab driver.
I didn't want to forget a word he
spoke telling his story
October 22, 2011, Yale
New Haven, CT

Today, Jose and I, together with two friends – one from Uganda and the other from the Bronx – travelled together by train from New York to New Haven to attend a day conference at Yale Divinity School on “Same-sex Marriage and the Catholic Church.”

In a friendly, low-key manner, the cab driver who conducted us from the train station to Yale, engaged us in conversation around the topic of our conference (but also, in passing, took interest in pointing out to us the house to which George W. Bush came home as a new born baby).

Before pulling away from the train station, I had leaned over to Jose and whispered, “The cab driver is family.” Jose gave a look that said, “I don’t think so.” “Yes,” I said, “you can hear it in his voice.” Before our transfer was completed, Jose would see that, this time, my gay-dar (for gay radar) picked up the signal correctly.

Our driver was somewhere in his mid-fifties or older. He asked if we were clergy. Our Bronx friend said, “Yes, two are.” After his commenting some on different denominations and their controversies over same-sex marriage, our cab driver asked directly, “What do you think of Exodus and 'ex-gay'?”

___________________

Above: Darlene Bogle, a former ministry leader in Exodus International issued a public apology to all former patients hurt in their attempts to change their sexual orientation. Current Exodus president Alan Chambers responded to her heartfelt sentiment with snark and sarcasm.

___________________

I told him that Jose and I travel the world speaking on the "ex-gay" movement (among other things); that our last seminar on “ex-gay” was in Singapore a couple months ago. I told him I give eight points in my evaluation of the “ex-gay” movement and that he could find the paper on our website. Jose, who is my legal husband, told him we had met at an "ex-gay" support group.

Then I asked him if he had personally been involved with Exodus (I sensed he had). He said yes and he said it changed him. Our time was short so I asked him directly if he was changed in terms of his same-sex attraction because it was my experience with “ex-gays” that they do not change in that sense.

Here’s what he told me. “Being 'ex-gay' is a life-long struggle. Exodus has changed its position on what they mean by 'change' which is good. They used to say you will change (in your same-sex attractions), but now they say you will struggle with same-sex attractions for the rest of your life.”

“I haven’t made it yet,” he said pointing to his ring-less ring finger, “and I guess I won’t, but that’s OK. Some 'ex-gays' do make it that far,” pointing again at his bare ring figure as if marriage with the opposite sex was the ultimate achievement for the “ex-gay” Christian.

“But,” I said, keeping the focus on his comment that “ex-gays” do not change, “even in marriage the ‘ex-gay’ husband still struggles with same-sex attraction.”

[I made the above statement that "ex-gay" husbands struggle even in a heterosexual marriage based on my own personal experience and based on Bob Davies writings from his book Coming Out of Homosexuality in which he says:

page 158

Coming Out of
Homosexuality

"A[n ex-gay] husband can just as easily experience a same-sex temptation one hour after making love to his wife as he can five days later.

"In [ex-gay married] men, homosexual temptations can be prompted by such emotions as anger, loneliness, frustration and boredom. ... If pressures of being a spouse or parent push these emotional "buttons," homosexual temptations may actually increase in the married ex-gay . . . "

page 162

Bob Davies, co-author
of Coming Out
of Homosexuality

"Ex-gay men may not feel an overwhelming physical attraction to their future spouse . . .

"Ex-gay [married] men . . ., the majority do not experience sexual arousal solely by looking at their wife's body. [Instead] . . . sexual arousal [must come by] touch and emotional feelings.

"Most ex-gay men do not struggle with sexual temptation for women . . . not the strong visual attraction experienced by most straight men. ... So a lack of sole dependence on visual stimulation can actually be a blessing."]

Then the cab driver said this, showing his agreement. “When an ‘ex-gay’ husband and his wife walk down the beach together, his eyes follow her eyes just like this,” and putting his two forefingers together he moved them in sync towards an imaginary object of interest. Jose immediately verbalized what his illustration was effectively demonstrating. “So,” said Jose, “the wife is looking at good-looking men and the ‘ex-gay’ husband is looking along with her at the same.”

Paul Martin was a lead counsellor
with Exodus Asia Pacific,
but has since turned his back on
the organisation.
Read more
Click over photo for video news report

“Right,” said the ex-gay cab driver. He was being consistent. He had said he himself still struggles with same-sex attractions (even though his life, as he claimed, was changed; obviously his life-style was changed, not his sexual orientation). He said he was glad that Exodus has officially gone on record as saying by change they mean a life-long struggle with same-sex attractions. And he gave a candid description of how "ex-gay" husbands while walking down a beach are not attracted to women in skimpy bathing suits but to hunks that would turn the head of any woman.

Dropping us off at our destination, he was still engaging us in this "ex-gay" conversation. We exchanged contact information. He threw in the cliche “love the sinner, hate the sin,” and he compared the “ex-gay” process with alcoholics, something I hear again and again and which is, of course, just an incredible, inaccurate parallel. In all of his talking with us, I did not feel judged by him. I felt it was a fair, good give-and-take conversation. I especially liked that he was on the same track with me: he did know that Exodus does not anymore (and, if you read the fine print in the “ex-gay” books going back to the 1990s, the “ex-gay” movement never really did) claim that homosexuals can change. I was talking with someone -this cab driver- who had an honest take on what change is in the "ex-gay" movement.

Yale Divinity School Chapel,
Conference on "Same-Sex Marriage and
the Catholic church"
Oct. 22, 2011

As we left, still keeping a very friendly manner, he said, “See you in heaven and we’ll continue the [‘ex-gay’] conversation there.” “OK,” I said as I pulled away from the cab to make my way towards the earthwhile conversation at hand – “Same-sex Marriage and the Catholic Church,” a day-long conference at Yale Divinity School.

Queering 4:21 - 5:1 the Epistle to the Galatians by Rev. Steve Parelli - A Letter to the Religious Right in America

2011-10-11T17:16:00.003-04:00

Queering 4:21 - 5:1 of the Epistle to the Galatians
An adaptation of Paul's letter by Rev. Stephen Parelli

A LETTER TO THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT IN AMERICA

Overview: In matters of personal belief and practice, which America are we? - the John Cotton America which enslaves us to the moral prerogatives of the state or the Roger Williams America which deems each of us a free moral agent before God?

To view the following queer adaptation of Gal. 4:21 - 5:1 in parallel with the text of the New Revised Standard Version, click here

Rev Steve Parelli's adaptation:

Chapter 4

21 Tell me, you in America who desire to legislate religion - to write the precepts of your personal faith into our civil laws - do you not hear the story of your Puritan forbearers?

22 For history tells us Boston had two sons, the one, John Cotton, tied to the old European mindset of a church-state paradigm, and the other, Roger Williams, born of the spirit of liberty, in which the church is free from the dictates of the state and the state of the dictates of the church.

23 Now, the former was born out of the Reformation (in Europe) which was still slave to the idea of church-state/ state-church governments; the latter was born of the Enlightenment by which the promise of liberty and equality for all was nurtured in the thoughts and writings of men and women.

24 Now these two figures - Cotton and Williams - are a fair representation of what is happening today in America with marriage equality. Cotton is from the old world and is fathering children who become nothing more than slaves, surrendering their liberties to a state-church/church-state society.

25 Cotton represents governments which make laws and rule according to the beliefs and values of the dominant religion which every citizen - the religious, the non-religious, and those of different beliefs - must obey; which makes slaves of everyone, even of the citizens who willingly hold to the dominate values.

26 But Williams represents that government which corresponds to something which is higher - the idea that all human beings answer to God according to the dictates of their own hearts without the interference of any human institution, be it civil, religious, private, public, local or national. A society is free when, at every level and in all of its dealings, it protects and guarantees each one's liberty in matters of conscience before God.

27 And that's why it can be said of Williams:

"Rejoice, Rhode Island, you who bore no children in Boston, for now it is your turn to burst into singing. Shout "His truth is marching on" you whose birth pains for religious liberty in Boston brought forth only still-born babies. For the children of Rhode Island are - throughout the world today - more numerous than the children of 17th century Puritan Boston. The desolate, unsought-after town of Providence, where, among the exiled of Massachusetts, religious liberty was born, is by far greater today than the highly-esteemed Beacon Hill of yesteryear with all its shinning Puritan lights."

28 Now you, my dear American reader, are the children of religious liberty - the promise of equality, freedom and individual dignity in matters of religious belief and practice, like Roger Williams was.

29 But just like then, John Cotton (whose belief-system was mandated by New England law and forced upon all its citizens) persecuted Roger Williams (whose belief-system guaranteed that others could believe and act differently than him or Cotton), so it is now with the repeal of marriage equality in some states, that the religious right persecute the children of the spirit of Roger Williams.

30 But what does history teach us? Though some colonies had officially recognized an establishment of religion, the newly formed Untied States would not. The children of the free Rhode Island would not share the inheritance of the children of the religiously non-free Virginia and New England in the formation of the United States of America. The likes of Virginia and New England had to yield to the likes of Rhode Island so that the first amendment was adopted.

31 So then, friends, we are children, not of John Cotton and the Reformation and New England which failed to gave us religious liberty, but of Roger Williams the father of religious liberty.

Chapter 5

1 It is this kind of freedom for which Christ has set us free. A freedom that respects all men and women equally as recipients of liberty of conscience, whatever their creed, gender, race, age, sexual orientation, sex, nationality, education, philosophy of life and whatever else are the accidental differences shared together by our one essence as human beings. Stand fast in this kind of liberty, therefore, and do not put yourselves ever again under a legal system that makes you mere slaves to a view of God which is not your own and which the state, or any institution, would mandate against your will without your free consent.

Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, asks his readers to respond: "Does Focus on the Family 'hate' gays?" Here's my answer ---

2011-10-06T09:19:00.008-04:00

I believe the claim has been made by some in the not too distant past that Focus on the Family is the most influential evangelical organization in America today in opposing gay rights.

Just today Focus on the Family published to the Internet an article by Focus on the Family President Jim Daly entitled “Hate is too big a word to be used with such little restraint.”

Jim asks his readers to respond to the question “[D]o we [Focus on the Family], as Webster defines ‘hate,’ feel ‘intense hostility and aversion’ to gays and lesbians? Do we [Focus on the Family] regard them with ‘extreme dislike or antipathy’?” He answers the question in the negative: “Unequivocally not.”

Jim, along with his friends at Focus on the Family, has a blind spot. The answer is, as unlikely as it may seem to some conservative Christians, an “unequivocal" yes. Yes, Focus on the Family “hates” gays and lesbians (using Jim Daly’s Webster definition of hate). Why don’t evangelicals like Focus on the Family, looking in the mirror, see themselves as treating homosexuals with “extreme dislike or antipathy?” How is it that evangelicals on a feeling-scale of one to ten don’t know that they register a ten-plus when it comes to feeling “intense hostility and aversion” towards gays and lesbians? How can they be so self-unaware? How do they not see the hate we know and feel?

Evangelicals are impervious to society’s cultural, human right advances whenever such milestones are, in their opinion, in complete discord with what God has decreed is his will for humankind. Love for one’s fellow citizen, in the evangelical’s mind, is to be expressed in the single context of loving what is God’s best for the human species as deciphered from the Bible. Evangelicals, by their standards, are loving when they offer understanding (but stop short of acceptance), provide support groups (to change one’s sexual orientation), and open their doors for all to enter their churches (where the gay and lesbian person can have fellowship with church members around the teaching that homosexual acts between consenting adults is always sin).

For evangelicals, gays and lesbians need to invite Jesus Christ into their hearts which is the formula for new birth which is the means by which (with much help) homosexuals will “come out of” homosexuality. For the evangelical, homosexuals will change; it is built-in within the spiritual “genetic code” of salvation in Christ. It is spiritually “natural” for an evangelical homosexual to change – moving by degrees away from homosexuality as a “life style” or “choice.” Thus, evangelical’s often quoted slogan: “hate the sin, love the sinner.” The idea is to “love the sinner” to Christ so that Christ can change the gay or lesbian person which, in actuality, amounts to conditional love. (Just ask a heterosexual to be received into church fellowship under the same conditions.)

No wonder none of this feels like love to the homosexual – and especially to the evangelical homosexual who for years upon years (myself until age 44) applies spiritual discipline, enters therapy, joins several support groups, attends “ex-gay” conferences, and does all this in utter isolation without being able to tell anyone in his church or family about the “ex-gay” process he is involving himself in without fear of rejection on some level. (“Don’t ask, don’t tell” is still alive and well in the evangelical church.)

Jim Daley concludes his article by calling for “debates, not denigration.” He asks that we cease with our “overheated, overreaching [hate] rhetoric.” I would like to suggest that what Focus on the Family needs to do is stop with its one-sided debates with the America people long enough to really listen to her own evangelical gay and lesbian parishioners. Focus on the Family is so engaged in saving the American culture from gay rights that they have failed to seriously take notice of their own evangelical children who are gay and lesbian. A parent who has forgotten their own children while saving the world – that’s Focus on the Family; Focus on the Family needs to focus on their own evangelical gay children; needs to stop and listen to them! When Soulforce, a few years back, asked to speak with Focus on the Family – to share their personal stories as Christian and gay – they were shut out by Focus on the Family. It appears “debate” rather than dialogue with one’s own evangelical homosexual children is the business of the day. Within our own house – the evangelical American house – we don’t need debate, we need dialogue (for most of my life I identified as evangelical; I presently do not).

You see, dialogue feels like love; debate feels like hate. When can we really talk as a family. Until then, Focus on the Family's love-talk may be seen has hate-speech by their own evangelical children, not to mention by the secular world which Focus on the Family hopes to save from gay and lesbian human rights.

September 26, 2011 edition of India Today magazine reports: Attempts for dialogue on homosexuality have begun for the first time inside the conservative churches of Kerala, set in motion by Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz from the US

2011-09-27T02:30:00.019-04:00

By Rev. Steve Parelli
September 27, 2011
Bronx, NY

Cover of India Today
magazine,
September 26, 2011

Rev Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz are featured in the current edition (September 26, 2011) of India Today magazine, an Indian weekly publication with a readership of 5.62 million people (Wikipedia), in an article titled “Sex and The Church” in the Nation section of the magazine.

Mr. M. G. Radhakrishnan, author of the article, personally interviewed Parelli and Ortiz on July 13, 2011 in the lobby of the Classic Avenue Hotel, Trivandrum, Kerala, and on July 18 attended a Kerala University students’ meeting, also in Trivandrum, where Steve and Jose spoke.

The India Today article juxtaposes the Parelli/Ortiz visit to Kerala with the suing of Marthoma Church Bishop Euyakim Mar Coorlios “for allegedly committing sodomy," both events occurring in July of 2011. “Interestingly, the bishop’s case comes even as attempts for a dialogue on homosexuality have begun for the first time inside the conservative churches of Kerala where Christians form 19 per cent of the population. The efforts have been set in motion by a homosexual Baptist pastor couple from the US, Stephen R. Parelli and Jose Enrique Ortiz,” the article says.

The article goes on to quote Parelli and Ortiz on the topic of homosexuality and the church in India.

The above photo of
Jose (left) and Steve
is featured in the
"Sex and The Church" article

Parelli and Ortiz “were brought to the state by the Trivandrum Theological Forum (TTF),” the article reports.

Sam L. Sone and R. S. Ajith, both of TTF, and Dr. David Joy of Untied Theological College (Bangalore) are also quoted in the article. TTF and David Joy joined efforts with Other Sheep (Parelli and Ortiz) in the Malayalam translation and its publication and distribution of The Children Are Free, a book by two American authors, in which it is argued that the Bible does not condemn homosexual acts between consenting, committed adults. TTF, in the first printing of the Malayalam rendering of the book, published 2000 copies.

Parelli and Ortiz spent 28 days in July in Kerala distributing 580 copies of the Malayalam book to human rights activists, religious leaders, media people, professors and students, lay leaders and parishioners, other interested parties, and bookstores and libraries.

The India Today article features a photo of Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz in an affectionate embrace.

Singaporean lesbian couple - Sheena and Kai - wedded in Central Park, New York, NY, with Rev. Steve Parelli officiating

2011-09-17T08:24:00.012-04:00

By Rev. Stephen Parelli
September 17, 2011
Bronx, New York

Sheena (left) and Kai, newlyweds,
Central Park, NYC, September 16, 2011

Sheena (Shi Jia Sheena Ling) and Kai (Kai Hiang Tan), a lesbian couple from Singapore, were married on September 16, 2011, in Central Park, New York. Four friends of the bride and bride, three travelling from Singapore just for the occasion and a fourth a student at NYU, witnessed the marriage (along with some Muppets). The wedding ceremony, given the theme “authentically playful” by the bride and bride, was held at the Hans Christian Andersen statue, the famous Denmark writer of children’s stories, near 72nd Street and East Drive, Central Park.

Rev. Stephen Parelli, clergy member of Metropolitan Community Church of New York and member of The Riverside Church, New York, officiated.

The bride and bried - Sheena (center left) and Kai -
with friends from Singapore and Rev. Parelli
(back row far left), Central Park, NYC,
September 16, 2011

The ceremony, which began shortly after 4:00pm on a warm and bright sunny Friday, was conducted to one side of the Andersen statue on the raised stone platform area on which the statue sits. Sheena and Kai gave vows they wrote. Kai surprised Sheena with a song. The Muppets sat on the edge of the platform while the friends stood on ground level looking up to the bride and bride standing before the reverend. By-standers stopped and took pictures then carried on.

Kai (left) and Sheena celebrating
their marriage with the theme
"authentically playful"

Following the ceremony, the newlyweds and their friends, still at the Andersen statue, celebrated the marriage with gifts from the bride and bride, food and Champaign, bubbles from two bubble-making guns, and the signing of the marriage license. Jose Ortiz, arriving after the ceremony from his job in the Bronx where he works as a counselor of school children, joined in the fun.

Rev. Parelli (left) and spouse
Jose Ortiz (center left) with
Kai (center right) and Sheena (right),
Central Park, NYC, September
16, 2011

Sheena and Kai met Rev. Parelli and his spouse Jose Ortiz on August 14, 2011, at the Free Community Church in Singapore. Sheen and Kai, as first-time visitors at the Free Community Church, came for the special occasion to hear Steve and Jose, Executive Director and Coordinator of Other Sheep respectively, give a seminar on the fallacies of the evangelical ex-gay movement in America. Following the Singapore seminar, Kai and Sheena asked Jose if Steve could officiate their up-coming marriage in Central Park, New York. Before leaving Singapore, over the phone, Steve gladly agreed.

Sheena (left) and Kai (holding marriage license) with
Rev. Steve Parelli (right),
at Hans Christian Andersen statue, Central Park,
New York, NY, September 16, 2011.

Wedding guests T. Y. and C. Y, both of Singapore (and both asking to remain anonymous because of job security fears back in Singapore), signed the license as witnesses of the marriage.

Muppets sitting at the site of the Hans Christian
Andersen statue, Central Park, observing
the wedding ceremony of Sheena and Kai,
September 16, 2011

Parelli and Otrtiz intervied by Sylvia Tan of Fridae.com on "the false claims of the ex-gay movement"

2011-09-09T05:22:00.043-04:00

Feature
8 August 2011
Rev. Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz: Is there such a thing as ‘ex-gay’?
by Sylvia Tan

(To view this article on Other Sheep web site, click here)

Rev. Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz, a gay married couple, will be in Singapore on 14 August to share their personal journey of reconciling their Christian faith and sexual orientation, and discuss the false claims of the ex-gay movement.

They are a gay married couple on a mission. Every year since 2005, Rev. Steve Parelli, a former evangelical Baptist pastor, and his partner Jose Ortiz – who are Executive Director and Coordinator for Asia respectively of Other Sheep – spend July and August away from their home in New York City to travel in Africa and Asia. Founded in 1992 by Rev. Dr. Thomas Hanks, an American Presbyterian missionary who was and is currently still serving in Buenos Aries, Other Sheep is an ecumenical, Christian ministry that works worldwide for the full inclusion of LGBT people of faith within their respective faith traditions.

Currently over a month into their two-month tour to India and Nepal, Steve and Jose will be making a stop in Singapore on 14 August at Free Community Church to conduct a forum to discuss the methods and claims of “change” of the ex-gay movement and their experiences within the movement as participants seeking change.The couple, who legally married in California in 2008, met in 1997 while attending Hope Ministries of Calvary Baptist Church, New York City, a support group for Christians wanting to “overcome” their same-sex attractions. At the time of their meeting, Jose was attending various self-help groups based on AA principles, and Steve was in “reparative therapy” with Joe Nicolosi, author and co-founder of NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality).

Ordained in 2008 with the Metropolitan Community Church, Steve has a Master of Divinity (Grand Rapids Baptist Seminary) and an MA in Applied Linguistics (City University of New York) while Jose has an MA in Applied Psychology (New York University). Steve also has four children from a previous marriage.

Fridae catches up with Steve and Jose who were in Goa, India via email and finds out why they have made it their life’s mission to share their journey of reconciling their faith and sexual orientation with gay Christians, and Christian religious leaders around the world.

æ: You and Jose have travelled the world for years to share your personal stories. Why do you do this and what motivates you?

Jose: I want to spare others the suffering that I went through… the years of confusion, self-loathing, depression, and thinking I cannot be used of God to help others spiritually.

Steve: What motivates me personally, in part, is the sad knowledge that Christianity, in the area of sexual minorities and human rights, is more often than not, a force for discrimination, exclusion, ostracism, and criminalization. Uganda – largely an evangelical Christian country – is a case in point. God’s love is universal, inclusive, and non-discriminatory. Unfortunately, religion can be a force for ill-will, division, separation and violence.

Also, what motivates me personally is what I’ve experienced within my own circle of family, friends and life-long associates: complete ostracism from all who have loved me (before I came out as a gay man in my mid 40s). It is my hope that the church will someday put an end to its spiritual persecution of LGBT people so that families and friends will not have to choose between being faithful to their significant others versus their faith. No mother should have to have to deny her faith in order to love her gay son. No young person should have to deny his or her gay father in order to be accepted by the church. The church should unify family members – including LGBT people – not divide, separate and inspire feelings of doubt, rejection and even hate. Unfortunately, the Church’s motto “to love the sinner but hate the sin” does not equate acceptance in the slightest degree for the homosexual: his or her sexual orientation as homosexual is as much a part of his or her personhood as heterosexuality is for the straight person: You cannot “love the heterosexual but hate his/her heterosexuality.” The church is obviously awash and totally without any practical compass, having embraced a traditional so-called Biblical approach, setting the sciences aside along with the clear testimonies of their own LGBT members.

æ: Were yourself and/or Jose involved in the ex-gay ministries? If so, tell us more.

Steve: Only as members of groups; not as leaders. [Steve attended a group in NJ (New Jersey) and in NYC (New York City) over a period of time for more than a year.]

æ: The debate about conversion therapy/ reparative therapy has been going on for decades despite increasing social acceptance around the world and psychological associations condemning such therapy as harmful. What is driving the ex-gay industry and why can't it be put to rest?

Steve: The evangelical Christian church, which is to a degree an isolated community, is the driving force of the ex-gay industry. Young people who grow up in the evangelical church become a new crop for harvesting by the ex-gay movement; these evangelical young people are “trapped” within an exclusive community that talks about being “born again” and have a “victorious Christian life” over sin. Young evangelical gays (before they even know they are gay) are indoctrinated with a theology of sin, victorious Christian living, and anti-homosexuality, so that by the time they experience their own sexual orientation as homosexual they are already conditioned to believe that it is sinful and that “Christ is the answer.” Couple this with the total ostracism that comes from being openly gay as an evangelical Christian – ostracized by family, friends, the church, status, position, career – and you have the powerful making of the hope that one can, should change. The ex-gay movement, for the above reasons, has the force it has because of the evangelical Christian theological mindset and its mode of exclusivism (belonging via correct doctrine and right practice). Wherever evangelicalism has gone (worldwide), the ex-gay movement has followed.

Jose: As long as society and its religions continue to propagate the idea that to be homosexual is somehow less than ideal, there will be a market for these therapies that offer change. The fact is that it is very stressful tohave to justify one’s own existence and assert one’s dignity. Who would “choose” to be different when that difference can result in disdain, ostracism, condemnation or even abuse from the greater society and in many cases one’s own place of worship?

æ: What is the potential for harm with reparative therapy?

Jose: The APA American Psychiatric Association, which opposes “reparative” therapies submitted a statement which says, in part: “The potential risks of ‘reparative therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior, since therapist alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred …” I believe there is also potential harm in the sadness, disappointment and intense frustration that arise when the expected success never comes. These negative feelings can lead to depression, hopelessness and suicidal ideation. The abusive and harmful aspect of such therapy is also manifest when they refer to studies that show that the client’s cooperation and motivation are the determining factors to the degree of “change” experienced. Therefore, when one is not experiencing change, one can begin to think “I am not sufficiently compliant, cooperative, invested, or committed to the ‘therapeutic’ process. I am really messed up.” What needs to be questioned is the “therapy” not the client. A client should not be subjected to such unnecessary and anguishing self-doubt due to the selective use of psychological research. I believe the rate of “success” – which could be the most minimal shift in sexual thought or expression – to be too low and the potential for harm to high to justify reparative therapy.

æ: Some people argue that it is the right of people to undergo reparative therapy should they want to "stop" being gay. What would you say to that? And if it were up to you, do you think ex-gay organizations should not be allowed to operate?

Jose: There are certain practices in the medical profession that are unethical and therefore are not allowed. Similarly, in the area of mental health there are practices that are counterproductive and/or potentially harmful and therefore should be prohibited. In my opinion, reparative therapy has such potential for detrimental effects that it should be banned.

Developing high self-esteem and exploring what it means to live out one’s sexuality responsibly should be the focus of counseling for gays instead of wasting time, energy and resources on changing that which is a natural part of one’s humanity.

Whether ex-gay groups should be allowed to operate depends on how they publicize, I believe. If they claim to be based on solid social science research and psychological practice, then they should not be allowed to operate. If they clearly say that they are intended on changing outward manifestations so that one can appear to fit in, or pass as one of the heterosexual majority, then I think they should be allowed to exist. They just should not be allowed to make false claims of change of sexual orientation.

Steve: This is not an easy question. Since the ex-gay movement operates under the auspices of local churches and is primarily a religious movement/ of religious sentiment, it is my view that government agencies do not have jurisdiction to regulate their practices. On the other hand, at some point the government does regulate in matters of health and well-being.

Just recently, in June, the New York State legislature legalized same-sex marriage; the bill they passed included church-right protections so that churches, in the case of same-sex marriage, could still teach and practice their same-sex marriage discrimination without penalty under law. Of course, marriage equality and reparative therapy is not the same – but I’m trying to illustrate that government has to be careful how it may or may not regulate religion or religious organizations.

æ: Have you received hate mail or threats by those who consider you and your ministry to be against the "proper" Christian teachings and how do you handle it?

Steve: Christians from Africa and Asia have emailed us using religious jargon to warn or attack us saying we are “an abomination,” that we “need to repent,” that they “are praying for us” to change. We respond with kindness, telling them we view scriptures differently, that the Bible does not condemn homosexuals, and that we’d be happy to discuss a particular passage of scripture if they wish to continue the conversation. No one who writes to us in this manner responds to our request for further study. It is a sad commentary on the Bible literacy of Christians, and is, I believe, bibliolatry (the worship of the Bible above God).

æ: Tell us more about the forum and if it would be useful to those who aren't Christian or who have fully accepted their sexual orientation and have no intention of "changing"? Who should come to the seminar?

Steve: Every ex-gay Christian should be there; he or she needs a different perspective; unfortunately, ex-gay Christians, in general, stay within the ex-gay movement out of fear (and not out of love) of rejection and complete ostracism.

Those who aren’t Christian and who have fully accepted their sexual orientation should attend from the standpoint of what influence they may have in organizations (or with individuals) that address reparative therapy. What this seminar offers that may be somewhat unique is the story from the inside: two evangelical Christians seriously attempting ex-gay therapy, and from that vantage point, evaluating it. Also, I feel the non-Christian activist and the Christian activist need to work together for the human rights of LGBT people.

æ: What's your advice for someone who is gay but does not want to be, or who is gay and Christian?

Jose: Not everyone in Christianity believes that homosexuality is wrong. There is a “minority report” within Christianity that argues that the Bible has been misused by religious leaders in the Church to condemn that which they do not understand. The majority opinion in the Church has been mistaken before thinking the earth was the center of the universe, that the earth was flat, and slavery was acceptable, to name a few matters. We know through the social sciences and our personal experience that there is nothing inherently evil or flawed in being gay. The Church just needs to catch up. We must patiently, persistently, and graciously tell the Church she is wrong about us. Also, remember that our religious institutions are NOT God. Our Creator loves, blesses and cares for gays as much as the rest of humankind. The rulers of our
institutions through their bias attempt to block the rays of God’s love for the LGBT community but they can no more erase God’s love for us as a person can blot out the fiery sun by blocking it from sight with his hand.

Steve: If you are gay and don’t want to be: Accept yourself as gay; love yourself as God loves you as gay; place your energies and resources not in repressing yourself as gay but in creating the person you want to be as gay (education, career, associates, etc.); find the spouse/significant other that completes you as a gay person and build a life with him or her; live life to the fullest as a gay person; live in step with yourself and those who really love you will congratulate you, those who will not accept you as you are you do not need in your life anyway.

If you are gay and Christian: For my part, as an evangelical gay man (and theologian), I have had the wonderful experience of re-thinking just about everything that I’ve been taught theologically – not just the gay-part. If you are gay and Christian, don’t just adjust yourself theologically on the mere six passages of scripture that are used to abuse you; but re-think the whole evangelical (Americanized) western, male, heterosexual, Reformation faith. Religion is the story we tell ourselves again and again; perhaps you need a whole different story. For the gay Christian – don’t just tweak your theology around the question of sexual orientation; re-do theology from top to bottom; it is a journey once you start you will find is, perhaps, the spiritual life worth living.

DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) at USA international airports no longer in effect it appears, at least as this American gay married coupled experienced it yesterday for the first time since 2008

2011-09-03T08:46:00.002-04:00

By Steve Parelli

Executive Director, Other Sheep

Bronx, NY

September 3, 2011

Every year since 2008, upon re-entry into the USA after traveling abroad during July and August in Africa or Asia, Jose Ortiz, my live-in partner since 1997 and legal husband since August 25, 2008, has been immediately escorted to a separate room, out of sight, without any explanation except “Follow me” or “Come with me.” I would be told I could not follow. I would be separated from him without any explanation. As we were expecting, it happened again yesterday for the fourth year in a row – his being escorted away that is – at the JFK airport in New York City upon our return to America from Nepal. Only things were surprisingly different this time around: I was not separated from my spouse!

In 2008, when this unhappy event suddenly occurred for the first time, “it was traumatic: the feeling of law officers separating us without being able to communicate with each other and without being told why we were being separated,” so I wrote the following year, in 2009, feeling again the embedded emotions when retelling the happening. (It turns out that “Jose Ortiz” is a “John-Smith” common-enough name so that he is listed with law officials as a suspect of some sort and his name must be cleared before he can enter the USA. This also happened once in Beijing, in 2009, where we were making a connecting flight to the USA – he was pulled aside for a name check before clearance was given to continue with his flight.)

This time around – yesterday – while waiting in line to present our passports to US officials, we laughingly “reframed” the whole (expected) ordeal by calling it one of our time-honored “rituals” (a term we use to designate events we routinely observe together which we value as important to our relationship).

However, on the contrary, we were pleasantly surprised. Yes, Jose was escorted away at the point of entry, but we were not separated as in the past. We were being treated with the same dignity other heterosexual marriages receive. As per policy (so I had observed in 2008), spouses and families are not separated when one of the spouses is escorted away for background check. (It appears only friends travelling together are separated – but not families.)

In 2008 I had refused to be separated and was accorded permission from the officer in charge to stay with Jose. I entered the restricted area with Jose and observed other spouses and families who were kept together while only one member of their party was undergoing screening for clearance.

In 2009, when I refused to be separated on the basis of my August 25, 2008, marriage to Jose in California, the officer laughed at me and said, “You’re not married here!” Then, unlike 2008, we were separated. The officer was right, of course. International airports are under Federal jurisdiction. DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) is a Federal regulation that does not recognize same-gender marriages performed by states. According to DOMA, in JFK I’m not married. As soon as I step out of the airport I’m married. Because of DOMA, the US officials regarded me as a mere friend, and not the legal spouse, of Jose (though legally married by the State of California), and so, unlike other spouses of heterosexual marriages, I had no right to remain with Jose my legal spouse.

In 2010 when we were routinely separated at point of entry, I made no fuss and simply went to the luggage area as instructed and waited patiently for Jose to compete his background check (by then I knew what to expect). It didn’t feel any better in terms of our dignity as a married couple, being treated differently than heterosexual couples, but at least I wasn’t a nervous wreck wondering what was happening to my spouse by federal officials.

But yesterday was different. I was treated with the same dignity afforded heterosexual couples. It appears that Obama’s policy to not honor DOMA is alive and well at our international airports. What a pleasant surprise. Yesterday, for the first time since 2008, Jose and I were treated as human beings upon re-entry into the USA after traveling abroad: we were not separated when Jose was escorted away for name check and eventual clearance. Yesterday, in spite of DOMA, Federal government officials at JFK recognized us as a legally married couple – as “husband and husband,”as we like to call ourselves. What a wonderful welcome home surprise that was!

Ostracism in Nepal – The Long Arm of Evangelical Spiritual Persecution Reaches Kathmandu

2011-08-23T16:58:00.002-04:00

By Rev. Steve Parelli

Thamel, Kathamandu, Nepal

2:35 am, August 24, 2011

A religious inquisition can have more than one form. In Goa, India, where I was vacationing just two weeks ago, I saw, in the state museum of Goa, the “inquisition table” used by the Roman Catholic Church in Old Goa where a tribunal of some sort sat and handed down its brutal physical torments upon its victims during its reign of religious terror a few centuries ago. The long arm of the dreadful religious Inquisition in Europe had reached all the way to India. I stood somewhat in shock and horror as I looked upon the table and chairs that represented the church’s official right of persecution, just to realize that even here, in India, the Inquisition took hold of its subjects.

I’ve just now witnessed something of the same this evening in Kathmandu, Nepal: The long arm of evangelical spiritual abuse reaching all the way to Kathmandu. The persecution was not physical, but emotional. The victim, a church-going Nepali Christian actively seeking to understand the plight of the sexually marginalized in Nepal, and showing his support in having open dialogue between gay Christians and church leaders, received a phone call from a clergyman who identified himself as the pastor of the largest church in Kathmandu. From his undefined “table and chairs” he handed down his official decree without trial or recourse for the individual on trial: If the victim would not cease to show his support of free dialogue between gay Christians and church leaders in a public setting, the pastor would speak to the victim’s pastor in such a way that the victim felt excommunication was intended.

The victim was distressed, anxious and was notably shaken. Church life is the center of this individual’s life. In fact, the pastor who made the threat had inquired from the beginning, prior to his speaking with the victim, to learn if the person in question was an active Christian who was regularly involved with the life of his church. Once the accusing pastor had determined that the victim would indeed suffer if removed from the family life of his church, he handed down his apparent decision: complete ostracism.

The victim called it a threat. The pastor denied that he was making a threat and argued, instead, that it is his calling and commission to save the flock from wolves. Sociologists tell us that ostracism is one of the most effective ways of emotionally distressing an individual, and when carried out to its fullest has harmful results leading to depression, inactivity, and even suicide. When a society or a community ostracizes an individual from its circle, the harm can be extensive.

In America, where evangelicals have been dealing with this “issue” of homosexuality since the late 1960’s, there has been, more recently, increments of talking-and-listening among evangelicals themselves as well as evangelicals dialoging with gay Christians. It hasn’t always been that way, and the in-roads to open discussions within American evangelicalism is not that extensive. But, yes, evangelicals outside of Kathmandu are, to a small degree, talking in settings that this leading pastor of the Kathmandu Valley deems inappropriate enough to covertly speak with the victim one-on-one over the phone and to seriously raise the question of church discipline, even to the point of complete ostracism, so the victim felt.

I ask, is this Christianity, to judge another Christian as disqualified from fellowship with his or her church on the basis of his or her support of understanding and knowing gay Christians through open, public dialogue. In America, as a gay Christian, I have been personally involved with Soulforce in its active, public dialogues with evangelicals. While I cannot speak to the culture of Nepal for I am not qualified, I can, to a certain degree, speak to the experience of evangelicals worldwide. And so I ask, can an evangelical Christian be a good Christian even though he or she may be in total, complete support of gay Christians? We have those kind of evangelicals in America, who are evangelical and who have concluded that it is ok to be gay and Christian. Straight evangelicals in support of gay evangelicals do exist. Maybe this is one area where evangelicals will have to agree to disagree for the time being and treat each other civilly while doing so. And, at the very least, let’s set aside the “table and chairs” of the Goa Inquisition, the long arm of the West bearing down again on the East with its religious intolerance.

While I’ve obviously taken issue with the pastor in question who spoke the way he did to the Nepali Christian, I do, at the same time, respect his right to lead his flock and to influence fellow clergypersons as he deems he must do. Church discipline, as defined by any denomination, is the prerogative of that institution. At the same time, the outside world has every right, and perhaps every responsibility, to say at times, that whatever the institution – government, religious or private, that that institution has perhaps acted in a way that is abusive towards one’s fellow being. When it comes to religion, it is hard to blow the whistle because religion has, by its very nature, an almost right-of-way to say and do whatever it deems is the will of God (and in doing so often offends the Creator as much as the creature). In this case, I feel the Golden Rule needed to come into play more than the pastor’s views on homosexuality when speaking to the victim. The victim claims he was threatened instead of pastored, counseled, and shepherded. Religion can be heavy-handed, especially when it comes from the top down.

And just now (by speaking of heavy-handedness and top-to-down authority), I ’ve been carried back, from Nepal, to the “chairs and table” of the Goa Inquisition. And that’s not where I wish to be.

A "husband-and-husband act" at the Kannur, Kerala, Railroad Station snack bar, and the expressionless look on the "audience's" faces.

2011-08-09T07:38:00.001-04:00

By Steve Parelli

Written with pen and paper, Tuesday evening, July 26, 2011, at the Kannur, Kerala, Railroad Station while waiting for our train to Kottayam to arrive. Transposed to my laptop, making minor changes in the script, Saturday morning, August 5, 2011, Royal Goan Beach Club, Baga, Goa.

“Twenty rubies only,” said the vendor loud enough for all to hear as he set the two cans of diet coke on the counter before me. “Twenty rubies only,” he repeated loudly, again stressing the word “only” and pitching his bargain price to as wide an audience as possible. It put a smile on my face. He reminded me of myself, an enthusiast about his business. He was also putting smiles on the faces of other customers who, for whatever reasons, were drawn in to this every-day business transaction that was occurring between the Indian vender and the white, male American tourist.

The small snack store, situated on a busy corner at the entrance to the platform area of the Kannur, Kerala, railroad station, consisted of two open counter spaces adjoining each other at a 90 degree angle. Customers at one counter could look across diagonally to customers at the second counter while the vender – with a particular flare for entertaining – easily serviced both counters. The size of the store was not much bigger than the smaller newsstands found in the New York City subway.

By now, all eyes were on me the foreigner who was purchasing two cans of soft drink. The vender was enjoying the notoriety as much as I had become use to onlookers in Kerala.

“Where are you from?” asked the vender, like a ring master under the big top, again loud enough to attract additional onlookers, which he did.

“The USA,” I said as I reached in my wallet for a 50 bill.

“Is this your friend?” he asked, pointing to Jose who was standing a bit behind me, the audience still attentive to every word.

Now it was my turn to step into the lead role. I would, in good humor, upstage the ring master. Up until now, I had been his support. Now, little did he know it, his role would be to support me and my lines.

“He’s my husband,” I said. Everyone understood and everyone laughed – not a polite laugh, but a real gusto laugh, the routine response we get in India when introducing ourselves as “husband and husband.”

It is hard to get a laugh when traveling abroad. What is funny in one culture, does not always translate as funny in another culture. Perhaps because the English words are clearly understood, or that the “joke” is uncomplicated, or that the foreigner is attempting to be humorous – for whatever reason, our introduction of one another as “husband and husband” always generates hardy laughter.

So, naturally, I was quick to affirm my statement. “Yes, husband and husband,” I said.

Jose smiled and chimed in. The lines we’ve repeated throughout Kerala spilled from our lips as if in chorus, Jose and me speaking alternately:

“Yes, married in 2008 in California,” said Jose.

“We have six states in America that have legalized same-sex marriages,” said I.

“We’ve been together for thirteen years,” said Jose without missing a beat.

“You know about marrying a man and a man, or a woman and woman?” I asked the vender directly.

“Yes,” he replied, “I hear the news. I know.”

As Jose and I were speaking, I looked towards the vender when I spoke, and then towards Jose, who stood behind me, when he spoke, giving me the opportunity to actually look about at the people and the expressions on their faces. Our audience was fixated on every word we spoke as well as on the image of our persons – interracial, American, two married men. (Out of the corner of my eye I caught Jose pitching to the crowd as much as to the vender.)

The onlookers were all men in their 30s and 40s – middle age. How would I describe their uniform expression? It was a look of disbelief; or a stunned look; not a look of surprise; I suppose their look was a cross between stunned and awe – almost an expressionless expression as if they went pale with disbelief; an expressionless look that said they were still taking in the data provided and processing it; as if their ears had betrayed them and the mind was catching up; a does-not-compute-yet-did-in-fact-compute look.

Almost like school children looking steadfastly at their teacher to explain patiently the predicament the teacher had posed; as if a new math equation had been presented on the blackboard, one which seemed to invalidate all previous math equations learned.

In this sea of expressionless expressions, we were, as we spoke our declarative sentences, assuring them with kind smiles and clear wide eyes that the equation – “husband and husband” – was in fact the case and does, in this new interactive, Internet word, exist – right here and now before their very eyes.

With that, Jose and I smiled at each other, looked out at our disbelieving bystanders, and walked off (the
stage) into the milieu of people on the railroad station platform – with our two cans of diet coke for “twenty
rubies only.”

Discussing sexual minorities and inclusion with Indian Muslims one-on-one in Kerala, India

2011-08-09T06:57:00.001-04:00

By Rev Steve Parelli,
Written August 3, 2011

Royal Goan Beach Club, Baga, Goa

The following events occured in Kerala, India, in July of 2011

On the train in Kerala, India, in the course of our seven-hour-plus trip from Kottayam to Kannur, traveling first class in a separate compartment, Jose and I met and spoke with three different “types” of Muslim men as it pertains to the topic of homosexuality, religion and inclusion.

In order to find possible interaction with people, Jose and I took turns leaving the solitude of our compartment: me, to distribute literature introducing the newly published Malayam book on the Bible, sexual minorities and inclusion; and Jose, to enter into conversation with any passenger who might show interest in him as a foreigner.

The first of our “three-types” of Muslim, whom Jose met early-on in our trip, was a closeted gay Indian in his forties who was living and working in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). He was home in Kerala on leave, traveling in the adjoining compartment of our first class car. Jose was already engaged in conversation with the closeted gay Muslim in his compartment when a second passenger, a Christian, entered the compartment and listened in on the conversation. The Christian was especially interested in obtaining a copy of the Malayalam book which Jose, at the moment, was explaining. Jose excused himself, left and returned with two copies of the book and gave a copy to the Christian and then offered a copy to the Muslim who politely refused it saying he would read it on line on our Other Sheep website.

Later, as Jose stood at the end of the car, looking out onto the passing landscape dominated by palm trees, some rice paddies, and scattered houses, the closeted gay Muslim approached Jose and spoke with him alone. He told Jose that he does enjoy sex with men. When Jose noted he was traveling with his husband, the gay Muslim commented how hard it was to find someone in an Arab country; that people are not open about same-sex sex in Arab countries – that it is forbidden; and that married Arab men, nonetheless, do have sex with other men but are “rough and not tender.” Earlier, but subsequent to Jose’s initial conversation with him, the gay Muslim had the occasion to position himself very close to Jose physically so as to brush against Jose, very suggestively, although ever so slightly, so that Jose was not the least bit surprised when the gay Indian Muslim identified himself as a man who engages in same-sex sex.

Our “second-type” Muslim experience, the open type who is willing to engage in honest, intelligent conversation, occurred somewhere mid-point in our travel. This Muslim Indian, who I will call Anil, was around age thirty, college educated, a businessperson, intelligent, articulate and logical in his delineation of thoughts, questions and comments.

At the platform of each train stop, I would climb down off the train car and, vocally calling out, announce “New book in Malayalam on sexual minorities and inclusion, a book addressing the Christian church; free literature on the book . . . New book in Malayalam on sexual minorities and inclusion, a book addressing the Christian church; free literature on the book . . . “

Anil watched from the car window as I handed out the literature on the book, and after the second or third train station stop, he motioned for a copy. As the train was pulling away, I jumped back on at his end of the car and gave him a copy of the literature. From there our conversation took off. He was respectful, offered a different opinion than mine, but more from a point of intelligent thinking rather than out of his Muslim conviction or social construct. He was genuinely interested it seemed to me, in understanding sexual minorities. After talking at length, he came with me to meet Jose “my husband” at our compartment and continued the discussion. We gave him a copy of the Malayalam book and pointed him to the section on Genesis 19 – the Sodom and Gomorrah story – common to the three sacred texts of the Jews, Christians and Muslims. He took interest in the commentary on Genesis 19, kept the book, and would have continued discussing for some time more if we hadn’t excused ourselves from the dialogue.

Our “third type” of Muslim, as it pertained to our topic of homosexuality and religion, was more fundamental in nature, so it seemed to us. Towards the end of our journey, two Muslim first-year college students, friends from the same town, boarded the train together at Calicut where they had just finished their college classes for the day to return to their homes down the tracks two or three stations away.

Jose saw them standing at the boarding door of our car and introduced himself to them. At some point into his conversation with them, Jose invited them to join us in our compartment. They accepted and politely showed some curiosity in who we are and what we do. Of course, introducing ourselves as “husband and husband” who work for the human rights of LGBT people in the context of religious settings worldwide, always gives rise to further explanations around specific questions. These young men were no different when it came to curiosity, however they appeared somewhat shy and were either being socially appropriate and indulgent, or being reticent about the subject matter, or genuinely somewhat bashful before the American foreigners, or they were, in fact, just good conservative Muslims keeping their dialogue about the topic on human rights and religious inclusion for gays and lesbians somewhat at bay. At the time, I took their posturing as the latter; but, without knowing their own expressed feelings, I can’t be sure.

I told them about my firsthand knowledge of gay Muslims (which generally comes as a surprise to Muslims, as I’ve experienced it). I told them about the gay Imam of South Africa that I personally met in Geneva at an ILGA (International Lesbian and Gay Association) world conference. I told them the Imam, a clergyman like me, was openly living with his same-sex life partner, like I am. Then I told them about the gay Muslim in Kenya, Africa, who read the section on Genesis 19 from the book we distribute, and when he did so he phoned us (while we were walking in the streets of Nairobi) and told us “the book changed my life.”

At that point I showed them the same section, in Malayalam, that the gay Muslim Kenyan had read in English. The section amounts to five pages in length in Malayalam. They each took a copy of the book, and taking their time, they read the segment on Sodom and Gomorrah. They were either proper students respecting the request of their aged, foreign (momentary) “tutor” (and thus being culturally or socially appropriate), or they genuinely found the material of interest. Either way they stayed focused on the text until they completed the reading of all five pages.

I told them they could keep the books if they liked. They sheepishly refused the offer which I quickly acknowledge as fine. We brought the conversation around to less serious matters some minutes before we arrived at their destination.

As the train pulled away from their station, I remarked to Jose that our experience with Indian Muslims on this full-day trip through the coastal area of Kerala was pretty representative of the continuum of religious people in general, and that Muslims, apparently, are no exception. The first Indian Muslim was in fact a closeted gay man, hiding his true identity out of fear of society and Islam; the second Indian Muslim was open and honest and not-at-all taken back by the topic of homosexuality and religion and its sub points, but was willing to intelligently explore the subject matter. The last two Indian Muslims, college students, aged 19 each, had the appearance of being somewhat stunned, for whatever reason, that their path was crossing the path of two committed Christian homosexuals who make it their business to talk religion and sexual orientation as a matter of every day discourse.

The Roman Catholic Sister of Kottayam who openly helped me distribute a free book in Malayalam on sexual minorities and inclusion

2011-08-09T06:25:00.001-04:00

By Rev Steve Parelli,

Written July 30 - August 3, 2011

Royal Goan Beach Club, Baga, Goa

The following event occurred in Kottayam, Kerala, India, on Friday, July 22, 2011

Traveling by hired car-with-driver and carrying with us our 500-plus copies of the Malayalam book on the Bible, sexual minorities and inclusion, we arrived in Kottayam from Trivandrum (a three and a half hour trip) on a Tuesday afternoon in late mid-July, 2011. Our budget hotel was tucked in behind street-front stores, back off from the main street, with a short alley way for its vehicle entrance. As our driver circled the same area of streets a second time in search of the “hidden” entrance way, it became obvious to me that our place of lodging was situated very close to our targeted recipients of the book – clergy, religious students, and lay leaders. Once we arrived, we saw just how close.

The hotel was virtually in the shadow of two large churches and a gated Catholic college for women. My first impression of the women’s college was how impregnable it would be to us; most likely an off-limits area to two men distributing free literature to women-only in a tight conservative environment. And though I made a mental note of the women’s college as a possible place to visit, I put it low on our list of priorities.

Was I in for a surprise: I would have a window of opportunity to distribute there, and I would be assisted with my on-site activity by a very progressive, forward thinking Sister and teacher of the women’s college.

Here’s what happened.

On this particular morning, I rose early (as is my habit) and quietly told my husband Jose (who was sleeping) that I was going out to do distribution work at the near-by Catholic church. I was hoping to meet college students there. On the day before, I had seen college-age young people attending morning Mass. Taking my bag filled with books and literature, I passed through the darkened lobby of our hotel and stepped out onto the yet still streets of Kottayam. A short walk away stood the Catholic church impressively high above the smaller establishments, clean-white in color, with its three set of double doors wide open calling the faithful to enter.

I arrived at the church while the early Mass was soon to end and a second Mass was to follow. I watched as young people arrived late, assessing the best location for distribution. I was standing on the street, a bit down the road from the main entrance to the sanctuary, at a place where parishioners passed from the street to the side of the church and then to the main entrance.

Suddenly, emerging from the sanctuary at the main entrance of the church and coming down the steps to the street was this huge mass of white – students and Sisters (faculty, so I assume) all dressed in white garb (though the faculty were definitely distinguished from the students by their type of garb). They made their way with a bit of hurry in their step. They were gathered together like a flock; their white garments were wide and broad from head to foot, giving the appearance, from a distance, that they were somewhat tightly pressed together, one up against the other, moving en mass like geese following a narrow pathway, their motionless bodies carried about by their unseen feet. I saw them just as they started their exit from Mass and immediately noted their intended destination: the gate to the Catholic women’s college across from the church. Without a moment’s hesitation and with a walking pace a bit faster than theirs (since the distance I had to cover to the college gate was greater than theirs), I arrived just ahead of them with my Malayalam book in hand, holding it out to them, audibly announcing my free offer.

I made my appeal directly to Sisters, who I assumed were faculty, who were walking interspersed among the students – all walking not in any kind of formation, but simply keeping step with one another within the flow of their own group movement.

When I first crossed the road to meet-up with the students and Sisters at the gate, I had imagined that my white flock of scholars would be small, and my opportunity brief. However, as I stood there giving copies of the book to passing Sisters, I saw that the flow of white-garbed students and teachers was still coming from the church, crossing the street to the women’s college gate where I stood. It amounted to a steady stream of what turned out to be, no doubt, a sizable representation (if not the total school body) of the students and Sisters.

Then it happened. One of the Sisters stopped to ask me questions. She was more than appropriate and very polite. If she was apprehensive of my presence and the book, she did not show it.

Quickly looking over a copy of the book and assessing my objective by the answers I gave to her questions, she immediately began pointing to other Sisters (faculty, I believe) who were passing us in their march to their next function of the day, saying “Give her a copy . . . and her. . . and also her,” getting the individual Sister’s attention while directing mine. What a remarkable experience. This Sister was taking my small window of opportunity to hand out copies of the book to passing Catholic teachers and helping me by making sure they actually got a copy.

After everyone passed by, and having pulled aside two other Sisters, the Sister who had assisted (and insisted when it came to giving the book to particular Sisters) discussed very briefly with me her experiences with sexual minorities and wanted to learn more about my own personal experience as a sexual minority. On her part, as a psychologist, she had knowledge of and firsthand experience with transgender people and was involving Sisters and students by increasing their awareness and understanding of transgender people. When I told her that I was gay and married to a man, she wanted to know if I was a transgender person. When I explained that I was not, she became very interested in wanting to understand more. She exchanged contact information with me, and learning that “my husband” and I were planning only one more week-day in Kottayam, she invited us to speak to one of the classes if she could get permission on such a short notice. She immediately assigned one of the Sisters to speak to the supervisor about granting permission. Unfortunately, the meeting never did materialize. The Sister texted me that no word had returned from the supervising department and so one had to assume, therefore, that permission would not be granted at this time.

My early morning, brief meeting with this Sister who so quickly embraced me and my task of distribution will always remain with me as a found memory of how walls-of-institutions-branded-with denominational-titles do not necessarily limit as to who or what ideas may be found within; there are, as I am always thrilled to find, people – in whatever religious denomination – who desire to be intellectually honest and genuinely open and interactive with today’s social realities; yes, even on the matter of sexual minorities and inclusion. And so it was with this dear Sister.

How a News Release over the Internet from Trivandrum, Kerala, India, led to a significant meeting with a with a conservative religious leader in Kerala

2011-08-09T06:08:00.001-04:00

By Rev Steve Parelli,
Written August 4, 2011
Royal Goan Beach Club, Baga, Goa

The following events occurred in Kerala, India, in July of 2011

Immediately following the TTF (Trivandrum Theological Forum) Young Lay Leaders’ Conference of July 7 – 9, 2011, in Kerala, India, I published two News Releases to the Internet from our Classic Ave Hotel in Trivandrum. The first News Release highlighted what I said in a seminar at the conference on July 7, and the second News Release highlighted what Jose said in his seminar on July 8.

I published these News Releases on the Other Sheep website (as articles), on the Other Sheep Blog (as News Releases), and sent out an Other Sheep eNews (as News Releases) to our readership. As News Releases, the notices included our names as contact persons with our mobile numbers in India.

In Tamil Nadu, where we spoke by invitation to the president and three faculty members of a small theological school, we were told by the receptionist of a second institution in the same town where we left our News Releases (and other material) for the Bishop, that he had just seen the News Release on the Internet that morning.

Without saying so, I thought he had to be mistaken. But when I gave it some thought, it was possible. In fact, just two days earlier, a long-standing religious leader of a recognized conservative Christian institution in Kerala, having seen the News Release over the Internet, phoned us at our hotel. He told us how he came to see the News Release, that the News Release was being circulated within conservative Christian circles in Kerala, and that he wanted to help us in some capacity in the distribution of the Malayalam book on the Bible, sexual minorities and inclusion. He would do so subversively and undercover.

We kept in contact with this individual through texting. He would text us almost daily. He texted us his ideas for distributing the book. He helped us find a translator who translated the News Release into Malayalam. He asked to meet with us in person to discuss ideas on how he could help in the continuation of the distribution of the book throughout Kerala once we left Kerala. Within the days that followed, we did meet in Kerala, spending about four hours together in which he discussed his views on sexual minorities, the conservative theological conditions in Kerala especially as it relates to late 20th century Western influence, and the particulars of getting the Malayalam book into circulation.

M. G. Radhakrishnan of India Today: "This meeting is absolutely important. For it is the first of its kind to happen in Kerala."

2011-07-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

"The first of its kind in Kerala" - to talk about LGBT issues "within a Christian theological context" - M. G. Radhakrishnan, Associate Editor, India Today

By Rev. Steve Parelli

July 19, 2011

Classic Ave Hotel, Trivandrum, Kerala, India

Just hours ago, here in Trivandrum, Kerala, India, Rev. Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz, Other Sheep Executive Director and Other Sheep Coordinator for Asia respectively, spoke “On being evangelical Christian and gay in the USA” to an audience consisting of three LGBT activists and Kerala University students who were primarily Hindu, two each of the Christian and Muslim faith, and two who identified as non-religious. At the door, 24 individuals registered with name and contact information.

Mr. M. G. Radharishnan, Associate Editor of the India Today magazine with a readership of over 20 million, “one of the very few newsmen in Kerala who are at home in both English and Malayalam, handling both with equal ease and consummate fluency” sat with the audience and asked questions, made comments, and at times translated from Malayalam to English when Malayalam was used by individuals in the audience.

Following the meeting, Mr. Radhakrishnan spontaneously left an unsolicited written comment on a sheet of paper at the registration table in his own hand writing which he signed. It reads: “This meeting is absolutely important. For it is the first of its kind to happen in Kerala – where issues like sexuality, homosexuality, etc., are openly discussed – within a Christian Theological context.” Signed, “MGRadhakrishnan”

Quoting Manvendra Sigh Gohil, member of the royal family of the princely state of Rajpipla, as saying he wanted to come out “because I wanted people to openly discuss homosexuality because it is a hidden affair with a lot of stigma attached,” Parelli said by telling their story as gay and Christian he hopes to show the Christian community worldwide that “homosexuals are as common within religious communities as they are in every area and walk of live.” He said he hopes “the Christian community will fully accept homosexuals as part of God’s diversified creation.”

Coming from the evangelical Christian tradition themselves, and noting the strong presence of evangelicals in Kerala, Parelli cited Faith Baptist Bible College of Ernakulam, and the ministry of Pastor G. S. Nair, Field Director of Fundamental Baptist Mission to India as two evangelical ministries in Kerala in association with the evangelical circles in the States to which Parelli belonged at one time. Highlighting the evangelical’s absolute belief in the Bible, Parelli said “Generally, for the (fundamentalist) evangelical, the Bible trumps experience, social science, psychology, science, and culture.”

Parelli said Christians use six different passages from the Bible to condemn homosexuals. He gave a brief overview of the passages and a pro-LGBT rendering of each. He said the story of the destruction Sodom and Gomorrah, from which the word “Sodomy” is derived, is found in both the Bible and the Koran. Referring to Chuck Colson’s doomsday remarks on same-sex marriage in California as an example, Parelli said, American evangelicals justify their certainty of God’s eventual judgment upon America from the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah with fire and brimstone.

Parelli, to show the correlation between Indian and American evangelicals, said an Old Testament professor of a Bible college of the state of Tamil Nadu (India), after hearing

Steve and Jose tell their story as Christian and gay, last week, to faculty members and the college president (by invitation of the president and a faculty member), emailed them saying “I pray God may open your eyes to see your folly of misinterpreting the Word of God . . . Because of these abominations USA is under condemnation and under the judgment of God. So God’s plea to all the people like you, the blind leaders to truth, is Repent! . . . “

As a young gay Christian adult, Ortiz said he “was overwhelmed with guilt and inner turmoil to the point of even wishing that God would just ‘take me home to heaven.’ That was a ‘spiritual’ way of saying I no longer wanted to be in this earth – a death wish!’ Ortiz said he agonized over the realization that the Christian community would reject him if they were to learn he is gay. “My experience,” he said, “is shared by many other gay Christians all over the world.”

Two Kerala University students, both heterosexual and interested in human rights, arranged the July 18 student meeting after having met Jose and Steve in Trivandrum, Tuesday evening, July 12, outside their college hostel (student dormitory) where Jose and Steve were handing out leaflets on the new Malayalam publication (an abridged version) of Rev. Jeff Miner and John Tyler Connoley’s book The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships.

The Children Are Fee in Malayalam was distributed at the July 18 student meeting. From the audience, the comment was made that there has not been since the translation of the Bible itself, as revolutionary a book in the Malayalam language as The Children Are Free.

The 5:00PM student meeting was held at the Dr. G. Mirmalam Memorial Hall Kerala Veterinarian’s Building on Dharmalayam Road in Trivandrum.

BOOK REVIEW: Mark D. Jordan (2011). Recruiting Young Love: How Christians Talk about Homosexuality. hicago: University of Chicago.

2011-07-18T18:10:00.000-04:00

Reviewed by Tom Hanks www.fundotrasovejas.org.arg
July 19, 2011
Posted from Trivandrum, Karala, India (Classic Ave. Hotel) by Steve Parelli, July 19, 2011
Today, while in Trivandrum, Kerala, India, I received this review in an email from Tom Hanks - SP

“Jordan has once again written a compelling, concise, exciting, and important contribution to the study of sexuality and religion, which will most certainly shape scholarly work and cultural debates for years to come. Jordan confirms his reputation as one of the leading voices in the study of religion and sexuality.” -Michael Cobb author of God Hates Fags: The Rhetoric of Religious Violence.

In Recruiting Young Love, Mark D. Jordan explores more than a half century of American church debate about homosexuality to show that even as the main lesson—homosexuality is bad, teens are vulnerable—has remained constant, the arguments and assumptions have changed remarkably. At the time of the first Kinsey Report, in 1948, homosexuality was simultaneously condemned and little discussed—a teen struggling with same-sex desire would have found little specific guidance. Sixty years later, church rhetoric has undergone a radical shift, as silence has given way to frequent public, detailed discussion of homosexuality and its perceived dangers. Along the way, churches have quietly adopted much of the language and ideas of modern sexology, psychiatry, and social reformers—deploying it, for example, to buttress the credentials of antigay “deprogramming” centers and traditional gender roles. Jordan tells this story through a wide variety of sources including oral histories, interviews, memoirs and even pulp novels; the result is a fascinating window onto the never-ending battle for the teenage soul [front flap, book cover].

Mark Jordan is the Richard Reinhold Niebuhr Professor of Divinity at the Harvard Divinity School, author of many books, including The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology (1997), also available in Spanish (2002). Since he grew up in Mexico he has great interest in Latin America and is available for lectures in Spanish. Although the focus of this work is the United States, anyone familiar with the similar debates in Latin America and elsewhere (where American TV evangelists were broadcast in Spanish) will find much that has been duplicated here.

I was just 14 years old, hyperactive in the neighborhood Presbyterian church, and only recently had learned the word for my “homosexuality” when in 1948 the St. Louis Post Dispatch shocked me with its front page headline regarding the finding of the first Kinsey Report: 37% of the males interviewed had had same-sex experience! It was strangely comforting to learn that, though afflicted with what the scientists then considered a psychological problem/illness, at least I had a lot more company than I could have imagined. Now, having lived through the 60 years history of religious-sexual conflict that Jordan so astutely analyzes, I found his work fascinating and highly instructive.

As a Protestant missionary Bible professor in Latin America, probably I have been overly allergic and not sufficiently analytic regarding all the reports of clerical sexual abuse and the high percentage of male Roman Catholic religious reported to be homosexual (Jordan’s estimates range from 25 to 75%, depending on the type and area). Jordan, however, enables us to perceive the coherence of an institution that systematically creates conditions that attract persons of homosexual orientation to religious callings but then develops a vast control network in which strict silence is maintain regarding its main focus of concern. The great haven for Roman Catholic youth who recognize they want to avoid traditional marriage thus becomes a lifelong torture chamber to keep them from acting out their deepest emotional needs.

Jordan’s analyzes church history, but if we link this history to Ted Jennings’ portrayal of the Hebrew Bible and New Testament as uniquely and highly homoerotic literature, we can see the basic continuity between Scripture and church (with sporadic efforts to incorporate ancient patriarchal households, as in the NT Haustafeln, and 20^th century “family values” as highly exceptional rather than normative). Hence typical gay activists, who commonly view “religion” simplistically as their great monolithic “problem,” need to be challenged to take religion with utmost seriousness in order to comprehend the complexity of the phenomenon, deconstruct the negatives and build bridges to potential positive allies. In this effort this and other works of Jordan, as well as those of Jennings, can be of invaluable help.

BOOK REVIEW: Hultgren, Arland J. (2011). Paul’s Letter to the Romans: A Commentary. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans.

2011-07-18T17:46:00.002-04:00

Reviewed by Tom Hanks, Other Sheep, Buenos Aires.
July 19, 2011
Posted from Trivandrum, Karala, India (Classic Ave. Hotel) by Steve Parelli, July 19, 2011
Today, while in Trivandrum, Kerala, India, I received this review in an email from Tom Hanks - SP

Some books are worth two taxi fares and a 2-hour wait in Argentine customs and this proved to be one of them! In this most recent of major commentaries on Romans (804 pp.) the author recognizes that in Romans 1:26-27 Paul does not condemn all homoerotic acts or relations, but only those that are “abusive” (see the attempted gang rape of visiting angels to Sodom in Genesis 19:1-11). In this regard he differs significantly from Robert Jewett’s recent work (which rather uncritically followed Robert Gagnon’s highly prejudiced treatment). Otherwise, Hultgren who is Professor of New Testament at Luther Theological Seminary, St. Paul Minnesota and author of several highly respected works, represents a more traditional reading of Romans (interacting with, but not accepting some of the most radical conclusions of the “New Perspectives on Paul”).

Although published by Eerdmans (conservative and evangelical), Hultgren’s commentary, has an unqualified recommendation from Donald A. Hagner of Fuller Theological Seminary (an evangelical institution with a longstanding anti-gay policy): “Hultgren’s wonderful treatment combines the highest level of scholarship in a nontechnical presentation, with a down-to-earth and insightful application”! And lest we dismiss the work as simply popular devotional propaganda, Robert Kysar adds: “In this veritable encyclopedia Hultgren masterfully employs a wide range of the best scholarship in the service of the church….A treasure for both scholars and preachers” (both comments on the back cover)

Hultgren treats Rom 1:26-27 exegetically (pp. 95-103) and again in Appendix 2 “Romans 1:26-27 and Homosexuality” (616-622, with a respectable 2 pp. bibliography). His conclusion, briefly stated is: “That larger context of this section….favors the view that even in those verses reference is being made to destructive and/or abusive behavior” (617). As he points out: “Throughout 1:19b-27 the indicative verbs in Greek are in the aorist (simple past) tense. The effect is that Paul carries on his discourse as though he is talking about something that happened at some point in the past (in illo tempore, ‘in that time’ of mythical origins) that explains the present” (617). He concludes: “As soon as the concept of sexual orientation is brought into the discussion and the words ‘heterosexual’ and ‘homosexual’ exist and can be used, the judgments made concerning persons must be changed significantly. There can be no virtue in perpetuating an error in judgment, even if it is tradition and is, according to a traditional reading, thought to be expressed in Scripture itself. Although the Bible knows about same-gender relationships, it knows nothing of sexual orientation, and therefore it knows nothing of ‘homosexuality’ or ‘homosexuality’ as descriptors of conditions or behaviors” (620).

Hultgren even goes a bit out of his way to comment similarly on another traditional “clobber text” (1 Cor 6:9) and in such a way as to deprive homophobic interpreters of any Biblical basis: “The degree to which 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 should be included within a discussion of Romans 1:26-27 is unclear….Perhaps the wisest course is to conclude that the precise meaning of the terms is inconclusive [he translates arsenokoitai literally as “male-bedders”] but that from the context it is clear that they are examples of persons who exploit others” (100-101).

Hultgren could have presented an even stronger case. He recognizes that “their women” (Rom 1:26) only practice some behavior “against/beyond nature,” but not necessarily same-sex relations, and he even cites James E. Miller’s article (99, note 65), but follows the same-sex interpretation (initiated by John Chrystostom ca. 400 AD). He correctly interprets Rom 14:14 and 20 as affirming not just “food” but all things clean (517) but fails to cite William Countryman and relate this to the sexual “uncleanness” of 1:24. Hultgren also recognizes that later in Romans Paul refers to God himself acting “against/beyond nature” (11:23-24) but fails to see the significance for the interpretation of Rom 1:26-27 (96). Hultgren envisions Paul as referring to abuse and exploitation in such practices as pederasty (following Robin Scroggs), or those of clients of male prostitutes and the prostitutes themselves (101). However, he points out that now “A new reality has come on the scene for the church, in which persons of the same gender claim to be Christians (not idolaters), know themselves to be homosexual (not heterosexual deviants), pledge themselves to lives of fidelity (rejecting promiscuity) and want their relationship public (not hidden away)” (619).

NEWS RELEASE: Trivandrum Theological Forum features USA married gay couple at young Christian lay leaders conference in Kerala, India

2011-07-13T21:33:00.001-04:00

NEWS RELEASE

July 12, 2011
Trivandrum, Kerala, India

CONTACT PERSONS

Sam L. Sone – Chairperson of Trivandrum Theological Forum (email: ttftvpm@yahoo.co.in)
R. S. Ajith – Secretary of Trivandrum Theological Forum (email: ttftvpm@yahoo.co.in)

Rev. Steve Parelli - Other Sheep Executive Director http://www.othersheepexecsite.com/
Mobile: 952 640 9736 (Classic Ave Hotel, Trivandrum)

Jose Ortiz Other- Sheep Coordinator for Asia http://www.othersheepexecsite.com/
Mobile: 952 640 9441 (Classic Ave Hotel, Trivandrum)

NEWS RELEASE
by Steve Parelli

Trivandrum Theological Forum (TTF) of Trivandrum, Kerala, India, a forward thinking lay-led Christian organization concerned, in part, with equipping the church to act and speak out on behalf of the marginalized of society, held its annual Young Lay Leaders Conference on July 7-9, 2011, in southern Kerala, India.

Rev. Steve Parelli and Mr. Jose Ortiz, a “husband and husband” gay couple legally married in California in 2008, were the featured guest speakers.

In his presentation, Rev. Parelli, formerly a Baptist minister, said “the church needs to understand what 'grid' it is using when reading the Bible. Is it an inclusive grid, or a discriminating grid; is it culturally and socially subservient or subversive.” Parelli said the church should be open to radical and critical thinking in moving towards inclusion.

Parelli, who knew he was gay since the age of 13, said he moved from "thinking Biblically" to "thinking critically" when he awoke one day to the thought, "What if the church is wrong with regards to its condemning view of homosexuality?" He called this his "first epiphany" in moving towards accepting himself as a gay man. He said his "second epiphany" came when he realized Romans 1:26, 27 - the "against nature" passage from the Bible - was not about him. He said it was an intellectually violent upheaval, an about-face when he came to the realization that "nothing in Romans 1 is about me as a gay man."

Citing the psychological research of Clock and Stark, Mr. Jose Ortiz, a school counselor in the public schools of New York City, said there are five dimensions of how people are religious: Intellectual, Experiential, Ideological, Ritualistic, and Consequence (Behavioral).

Ortiz said his religious expression during his youth showed greater strength in the Ideological and Behavioral dimensions, and that it was later in life, when confronted with the reality of his sexual orientation as homosexual, that he realized he needed to increase the Intellectual dimension of his religious life.

Ortiz said he was seventeen years old and soon to enter Bible college to become a missionary when he first discovered his attraction to those of his sex. He said the confusion he experienced as Christian and gay conflicted with the Ideological dimension of his religious life. He had very little information on the topic of homosexuality in the conservative Bible College he attended. He said the agony and inner turmoil of his being gay and Christian brought on periods of depression and suicidal thinking. Ortiz said this is the case with many gay Christians around the world.

When asked how they experienced the TTF conference, they said they “were honored to be able to present alongside gifted and highly qualified speakers.” Jose said he was “very impressed” with the young Christian lay leaders who, added Steve, are “committed to achievement, education and the welfare of the Christian community.”

On the first day of the three-day conference, Jose and Steve introduced themselves as "husband and husband." “Throughout the conference,” they said, “we kept ourselves involved and interactive with the young lay leaders. They were friendly, responsive, talkative, and appeared very accepting. It was a totally positive experience for us as a married gay couple presenting ourselves.”

Ortiz said the highlight of the conference for him was the unveiling of the TTF publication of the book The Children Are Free: Re-examining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships, an abridged version, in Malayalam, the language of Kerala. Mr. Sanjeeva Ghosh of Trivandrum presented a copy of the Malayalam version to Rev. Anilal M. Jose of Kollam, Presbyter, Church of South India and Anil A. who received his copy on behalf of Sangama, an LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) center in Bangalore.

Jose and Steve said that Sam L. Sone and R. S. Ajith, Chairperson and Secretary of TTF respectively, by their “tireless leadership, progressive vision, and networking abilities,” had “created and directed a meaningful, instructive conference. We thank them, along with Dr. David Joy of Untied Theological College of Bangalore, for their joint invitation to be a part of this conference.”

Rev. Steve Parelli, ordained with Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) and member of MCC New York, is Executive Director of Other Sheep. Mr. Jose Ortiz, who, with his husband, is a member of The Riverside Church, New York City, is Other Sheep coordinator for Asia. Other Sheep is an ecumenical Christian ministry that works worldwide for the full inclusion of LGBT people within their respective faith traditions.

The Youth Lay Leader Conference, a function of Trivandrum Theological Forum (Trivandrum, Kerala, India), was sponsored by Trivandrum Theological Forum (TTF), Amirtham Ecumenical Trust, and Other Sheep.

Young church lay leaders in India shown underlying psychological dynamics of church bias towards sexual minorities

2011-07-10T22:57:00.005-04:00

By Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz
Classic Ave Hotel, Trivandrum, Kerala, India
July 10, 2011

Jose Ortiz, first row and last person at far right,
with attendees and speakers,
Young Lay Leaders Conference, July 7-9, 2011,
southern Keralal, India

On the second day of the Young Lay Leaders Conference (July 7-9, 2011) in Kerala, India, sponsored by Trivandrum Theological Forum, Amirtham Ecumenical Trust and Other Sheep, Jose Ortiz, Other Sheep Coordinator for Asia, spoke on the psychological aspects of relationships in the Church and how they apply to the gay Christian and the Church community.

Citing the psychological research of Clock and Stark, Ortiz said there are five dimensions of how people are religious: Intellectual, Experiential, Ideological, Ritualistic, and Consequence (Behavioral).

Ortiz said his religious expression during his youth showed greater strength in the Ideological and Behavioral dimensions, and that it was later in life, when confronted with the reality of his sexual orientation as homosexual, that he realized he needed to increase the Intellectual dimension of his religious life.

Ortiz said he was seventeen years old and soon to enter Bible college to become a missionary when he first discovered his attraction to those of his sex. He said the confusion he experienced as Christian and gay conflicted with the Ideological dimension of his religious life. He had very little information on the topic of homosexuality in the conservative Bible College he attended. He said the agony and inner turmoil of his being gay and Christian brought on periods of depression and suicidal thinking. Ortiz said this is the case with many gay Christians around the world.

Concerning the majority view of the Church towards sexual minorities, Ortiz said motivation and conformity are two factors that contribute to the rejection of homosexuals within the church. Ortiz said extrinsically motivated church-goers are those who are in the church for the social benefits they derive and are not generally interested in truth and justice. Often this group constitutes the majority. Ortiz said research shows that prejudice, racism and maladjustment factor highly among those who are extrinsically motivated. Quoting Sara Savage of Cambridge University, Ortiz said pastors and lay leaders should encourage the extrinsically motivated to “seek to enable the healthy, truth-oriented aspects of a person’s faith to gradually take ascendancy over any defensive purposes lurking behind religious faith.”

Ortiz said due to his desire to conform, he could not, while in Bible college, allow himself to seriously consider some literature he had read which called for the inclusion and acceptance of homosexuals within the church. Ortiz named the six factors that contribute to conformity within groups and said the church has all six factors. He said studies do show that minorities can change the view of the majority though dialogue and by their own behavior style. Ortiz said this is why he and his partner are here in India dialoguing with Christians. Ortiz said the majority will reconsider its rejection of homosexuals when they see the homosexual’s face, hear their voice, and see the love of God and the peace of God in them.

Rev. Steve Parelli tells young Christian lay leaders in India the Church must move towards welcoming the gay community

2011-07-10T15:28:00.007-04:00

Reporting from the conference grounds,

Thursday, July 7, 20100
By Rev. Steve Parelli

In the second session of the first day of the Young Lay Leaders Conference, sponsored by Trivandrum Theological Forum, Amirtham Ecumenical Trust and Other Sheep, Rev. Steve Parelli, Executive Director of Other Sheep, presented a paper, using the medium of PowerPoint, on "An Inclusive Community or What the Church in India must consider towards becoming a Welcoming and Affirming Church for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) people."

Young Lay Leaders Conference, southern Kerala, India,
July 7-9, 2011.
Jose Ortiz and Rev Steve Parelli of Other Sheep, third and
fourth from left, front row (on knees)

Before presenting his paper, Parelli gave an overview of his life as a gay Christian from his teen years to his mid-life adult years when, at that time, he accepted himself as gay and Christian. Parelli introduced his husband Jose Ortiz who is presenting on the second day of the conference. They were married, he said, in the USA, in the state of California, on August 25, 2009.

In the first part of his presentation, Parelli said the church needs to have an understanding of its own history of exclusion and make whatever correctives are necessary. Quoting Dr. George Nalunnakkal of the Malankara Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church, Parelli said, "India's traditional silence on 'sexuality' is nothing but a celebrated myth. In fact, the Indian mind had always engaged sexuality in a very open and radical manner. It was, in fact the colonizers who had brought to India their 'values' and ethos, which suppressed the Indian tradition."

In his second part, Parelli said the church needs to understand what 'grid' the church is using when reading the Bible. Is it an inclusive grid, or a discriminating grid; is it culturally and socially subservient or subversive. Parelli said the church should be open to radical and critical thinking in moving towards inclusiveness.

Parelli said he moved from "thinking Biblically" to "thinking critically" when he awoke one day to the thought, "What if the church is wrong?" He called this his "first epiphany" in moving towards accepting himself as a gay man. He said his "second epiphany" came when he realized Romans 1:26, 27 - the "against nature" passage - was not about him. He said it was an intellectually violent upheaval, an about-face when he came to the realization that "nothing in Romans 1 is about me."

In his third part, Parelli talked about the church's need for a love ethic. Parelli said James B. Nelson makes the claim that there is no biblical sex ethic, only a love ethic; that, for example, "there is no explicit prohibition" in the Bible on premarital sex between consenting adults.

Parelli said the religious leaders of Jesus' day "narrowed the love of God until it included only themselves" whereas Jesus had "widened the love of God until it reached out to all men" [William Barclay].

Parelli, making reference tp David Myers and Letha Scanzoni (What God Has Joined Together), said we are social beings with the innate desire to belong. Parelli noted that Mr. Shyam Divan in Voices Against 377, said "Homosexuals suffer tremendous psychological harm. Fear of discrimination leads to a concealment of true identity."

An American-African civil rights activist of the 50's and 60's, once told Parelli that the African-American, rejected openly by society, had his church and his family as a place where he could go and belong, but not so for the homosexual who often experiences rejection by society, his family and the church, and has nowhere to go.

Parelli concluded that "the reign of God on earth" is what Jesus demonstrated in his crossing social boundaries and in his disruption of the "habitual arrangement of things."

"Jesus' teachings and actions were subversive," said Parelli. "He freed things and people."

The First Malayalam Edition of The Children Are Free is hot off the press!

2011-07-05T19:36:00.004-04:00

TTF (Trivandrum Theological Forum) of Kerala, India, releases a first-of-its-kind Malayalam publication (a translation of the English version of TCAF) that claims the Bible does not condemn same-sex relationships

By Steve Parelli, Exec. Dir.of Other Sheep

Sam L. Sone, one of the twe
General Editors of the
Malayalam translation of TCAF,
and Chairperson of
the Trivandrum Theological Forum.
July 4, Classic Ave Hotel,
Trivandrum, Kerala, India

You can imagine our joy when just this evening, here in Trivandrum, Kerala, India, we (Jose and Steve) were presented with copies - fresh off the press this late afternoon - of the translation of The Children Are Free: Re-examining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships (TCAF) in Malayalam, the language spoken in the state of Kerala. The Kerala edition is an abridgement of the original English version.

Sam L. Sone, one of the two General Editors of the translation, and Chairperson of Trivandrum Theological Forum (TTF), called the new publication "the starting point and the platform" from which theologians, church leaders, theological students and the church in general in Kerala will now discuss the question of Christianity and same-sex relationships.

Left to right: Rev. D. L. Paulson, Presbyter, Church of
South India; Sam L. Sone, General Editor and
Chairperson of TTF; Jose Ortiz, Other Sheep
Coordinator for Asia; D. Mano, translator;
R. S. Ajith, General Editor and Secretary of TTF.
July 4, 2011, Trivandrum, Kerala, India

The book is a Trivandrum Theological Forum (TTF) Publication (email: ttftvpm@yahoo.co.in). This first Malayalam edition is a printing of 2000 copies. Beginning next week, we (Steve and Jose) hope to distribute 1000 copies over a period of three weeks to interested parties throughout Kerala.

(For additional photos visit Other Sheep web page)

Steve Parelli and Jose Ortiz
Classic Ave. Hotel
Trivandrum, Kerala, India
July 4, 2011

We are the Unseen Outcasts within the Church

2011-07-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

Written by Jose Ortiz, Dubai International Airport, July 1, 2011

Edited by Rev. Steve Parelli, Classic Ave. Hotel, Trivandrum, India, July 4, 2011

Our Other Sheep 2011 work in India actually began while in flight from New York to Dubai where we made a connecting flight to Trivandrum, India. Our seating – in a row of three-seats – placed me right next to a middle-aged Indian who I will call Deepak. Deepak, who has lived in America for 16 years, is a nationalized American citizen originally from Chennai, India. He was returning home to India to attend a wedding. His wife and children had returned earlier for the special event. He was happy to be joining them.

Jose Ortiz, left, and Steve Parelli
Jose typing out his composition from his handwritten notes
Dubai International Airport
July 2, 1011

Deepak had noticed the Bible Steve had passed to me to place in his seat pouch. He soon asked if we were Christians. When we answered “yes,” he responded with a broad smile (reminding me of that joy I would feel upon discovering a stranger to be a Christian) and said, “I am, too.” His spontaneous smile communicated to me his sense of enthusiasm in finding another Christian. I told him Steve had been a Baptist pastor and I . . . , but, as if on cue, he interrupted and immediately told us about the Baptist Church he attends in Florida where he lives. He asked if we had heard of his pastor, giving the pastor’s name and ministry.

At some point he asked us why we were traveling to India. After learning that we did human rights work for gays and lesbians in religious contexts and that we were a gay Christian couple, he politely said he would have plenty of questions for us during our flight. We welcomed this and said we would be glad to discuss anything he desired.

Read more . . .

Marriage Equality has come to New York, my home state

2011-06-24T22:50:00.001-04:00

by Rev. Steve Parelli

Bronx, NY

June 24, 2011

"If Christian mercy is gone, then at least Venetian justice still exists." - From the movie Dangerous Beauty.

New York passes Marriage Equality!

Where I could not find, as a gay man, "Christian mercy" within my own evangelical Baptist denomination and within my own nuclear "born-again" Christian family, I have, instead, been handed justice from my secular State.

I grew up in up-state NY; my first senior pastorate was in Western NY where two of my four children were born; and NY is where I have lived with my spouse (married in California in 2008) since 1997.

Photo at left: Rev. Steve Parelli at Albany state capital demonstrating for Marriage Equality, June 20, 2011. Photo by Kelly Mapes

Joe Solomese may have it backwards when it comes to Obama in DC and the republicans in Albany

2011-06-24T13:49:00.002-04:00

By Rev. Steve Parelli

Steve Parelli at June 20,
2011, demonstration
for Marriage
Equality

Bronx, NY

June 24, 2011

Marriage Equality: Who's Walking Slowly and Who's Evolving? Does Joe Solomese of the HRC have it all backwards?

I just heard Joe Solomese on Andrea Mitchell msnbc say that Obama is "evolving" while the republicans in Albany are "walking slowly." Actually, it is the republicans who are "evolving" and Obama is "walking slowly." Andrea Mitchell in her live one-on-one interview asked Solomese all the right critical questions about Obama's "evolving" but Joe didn't have any hard answers for fear, so it appeared, of putting Obama in even the slightest of bad light.

If you paid over $30,000 to hear the president speak at last evening's NYC LGBT event, then I suppose you wouldn't want to throw cold water on the occasion, either. Seems Joe doesn't wish to. Even so, for that kind-of-a-price, its worth getting it right: Obama is walking slowly and the republicans in Albany are evolving.

A republican and evangelical Christian, former Iowa state Senator Jeff Angelo supports marriage equality

2011-06-24T06:15:00.009-04:00

Rev. Steve Parelli
Albany, NY
June 20, 2011
Photo by Kelly Mapes

Posted by Rev. Stephen Parelli

Bronx, NY

June 24, 2011

Another leading republican and evangelical for Marriage Equality

According to an article by Loren A. Olson (M.D. - Psychiatrist) in yesterday's The Huffington Post (dated June 23, 2011), entitled Iowa Republicans for Marriage Equality,

"former Iowa state Senator Jeff Angelo launched Iowa Republicans for Freedom whose mission is to change the hearts and minds of Iowa's social conservatives who currently oppose marriage equality.

"Angelo was a three-term state Senator who did not seek reelection in 2008. He has not always been on the side of same-sex marriage. Five years ago, Angelo, an evangelical Christian, co-sponsored a bill to amend the state's constitution to prohibit marriage between same-sex couples. Now he says that his views have evolved because of his relationships with Iowans who have families with same-sex couples. Angelo has said that he believes his new position is consistent with basic GOP values: individual freedom, limited government, and the pursuit of happiness."

Editor's Personal Note: I grew up evangelical and up-state NY republican. So then -- I'm so excited when I see the religious political conservative person shift in his/her thinking. It has been, in large part, my mission to focus on "people like me" in telling my story. Putting a face on homosexuality within the community in which I grew up. (Jose, my spouse, also grew up evangelical.) - Steve Parelli

Bible characters David and Jonathan were lovers says my neighbor, Jonathan Atkin, in an email to NY Senators telling them to vote "Yes" on Marriage Equality

2011-06-23T09:44:00.006-04:00

"President of Brandeis and Judaic scholar pointed out to me nearly 25 years ago, in the synagogue, during the high holidays, how King David and Jonathan were documented as lovers" - Jonathan Atkin

Editor's note : Jonathan Atkin is my neighbor. Jose (my spouse) and I met him by chance one day while returning from the subway to our home. You guessed it, he's an openly gay man. We've kept in touch. He asked me for the names of the conservative NY Senators who are known to be in opposition to Marriage Equality. Here's what he wrote them. I especially like the part about David and Jonathan - Steve Parelli

June 23rd 2011
Dear NY State Senators:

I am a captain and certified boat handler. To navigate in smooth seas, is never easy. To navigate in rough storms takes exceptional skills and leadership.

At the least, I expect leadership from the Albany Senate, not head in the sands or ducking into safe harbors on the threat of rain drops or political retribution. That is just wrong.

Pass the marriage act, now, that provides basic rights to same sex couples that other Americans take for granted.

Those of you who are hiding behind religious objections and obfuscations: SHAME. This is a country that has in theory, separation of church and state.

Those of you who need religious bolstering, my god father, now passed, and former President of Brandeis and Judaic scholar pointed out to me nearly 25 years ago, in the synagogue, during the high holidays, how King David and Jonathan were documented as lovers. Judaism at least nodded its history to reality thousands of years ago. It is more than enough time to act on this to bring the United States up to standards that recognizes universal rights for all. Otherwise our vaunted values of this country become a mockery.

If there are legal issues regarding venues, non profits and faith based groups that simply want to avoid law suits then, sure, write into the legislation their exemption. No big deal. There are plenty of organizations, venues, and others that will be glad to reap the millions of dollars in economic stimulus that equality of marriage will bring to them. The others, will be left out. Too bad.

In closing, after you pass this seemingly monumental legislation, in two years, everyone will be scratching their heads and saying, wow, what was all the fuss about? The world will continue to revolve, the US will continue to prosper, the heavens will not unleash biblical plagues and we will all be just fine.

So, stop the bickering, the small mindedness, resolve the issues and pass the bill.

Kind regards,

Captain Jonathan Atkin
Bronx, NY
http://www.shipshooter.com/

WORLD WIDE PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO PRODUCED WITH LOCAL KNOWLEDGE & SEAFARING SAVVY. SPECIALIZING IN AERIAL & SHIP-TO-SHIP IMAGES for cruise lines, cargo operators, port authorities & the workboat

In a dramatic public apology on the Senate floor today (June 20, 2011), New Jersey Senate President Steve Sweeney says his not voting for marriage equality was "the biggest mistake of my career"

2011-06-23T08:50:00.001-04:00

Posted by Rev. Stephen Parelli
Source: Garden State Equality
June 23, 20100

Contact: Steven Goldstein, Garden State Equality Chair cell (917) 449-8918

Monday, June 20, 2011 --
New Jersey Senate President Steve Sweeney, the most powerful leader in New Jersey after the Governor, apologized on the floor of the state Senate today for his not voting for marriage equality in January 2010. When the Senate voted then, the New Jersey legislature was in post-election lame duck session and Democratic Governor Jon Corzine had days left to his term. Chris Christie's election had turned a sure thing into rapid collapse.

Today Senator Sweeney called his abstention – equal to a no vote in the New Jersey legislature – ”the biggest mistake of my legislative career."

Senate President Sweeney's exact words today:

"Seventeen months ago, I stood up here and made the biggest mistake of my legislative career. I made a decision based purely on political calculations not to vote in support of marriage equality. I failed in my responsibility as majority leader of this house of government to actually lead. I was wrong. To my fellow colleagues, to staff, and to those watching upstairs, let me tell you: never, ever again will I allow that to happen. The time for political calculations is over."

Reaction of Garden State Equality Chair Steven Goldstein:

"We welcome Senate President Sweeney’s support with open arms. The world evolves, and our responsibility as advocates is not to hold grudges, but to pass laws.

"Today we indeed have the votes to pass marriage equality in both houses of the New Jersey legislature. But we do not have enough votes, to be sure, to override Governor Christie's veto. It means New Jersey will have to win marriage equality through other means.

"Stay tuned for an announcement very, very soon. We are ready for the next round of our monumental fight to win equality for all."

David Tyree of of Super Bowl fame meets Marriage Equality supporter Rev. Steve Parelli

2011-06-21T15:02:00.009-04:00

David Tyree (left) with Rev. Steve Parelli
State Capital at Albany, NY. June 20, 2011
Photo by Kelly Mapes

By Rev. Stephen Parelli

June 22, 2011

Bronx, NY

What David Tyree and my football-loving father have in common: they've fumbled

Last week I heard CNN's phone interview with David Tyree. I think I was doing the dishes at the time. As I listened, I realized quickly that I was hearing the usual evangelical rhetoric when it came to Marriage Equality.

As a former evangelical Baptist minister, I know well how the talk goes. In fact, after coming out as an openly gay man in 1997, I began the long, hard journey of unraveling the evangelical talk that was deeply ingrained in my mind and heart.

The unraveling process, the decoding process, the making visible what was the invisible grid of the evangelical mindset, and the following of the strands of thoughts that had been personally inculcated, were the means by which I began to dismantle conclusions I had previously never questioned.

It was a spiritual journey. A setting-free journey. A I-can-think-for-myself journey.

David Tyree (left) with Rev. Steve Parelli
State Capital at Albany, NY. June 20, 2011
Photo by Kelly Mapes

Yesterday at the demonstration in Albany, I saw signs that said "Defend Biblical Marriage." As a young man, I was introduced to the motto "Think Biblically." As an openly questioning gay man, I concluded that the last thing Jesus did was to "Think Biblically." The so-called religious-right Biblical thinking of Jesus' day was intolerable for the Master. The last motto Jesus would have adopted (in the context of his times) was "Think Biblically." He challenged his listeners to think otherwise. What was Biblical for the religious leaders of Jesus' day was not "Biblical" for Jesus for a considerable part of his teachings.

Yesterday at the state capital in Albany, I had the opportunity to meet David Tyree. He was gracious enough to acknowledge me when I approached him. I think I caught him glancing at my poster. Someone close by asked me if I knew who the gentleman was. "No," I said. "That's David Tyree," I was told.

Rev. Steve Parelli
Albany, NY
June 20, 2011
Photo by Kelly Mapes

I never heard of David Tyree until last week when I heard his phone interview with CNN.

By the photos, here, you can see we met and smiled. My dad follows football big time! Maybe he'll see this blog and think again about his last words to me: "You're dead to me," he said. And with that he walked out of my life on every level. I wonder if David Tyree, while keeping his faith, would forever cut his son out of his life if he were to learn his son were gay.

Most likely not, not the way David Tyree talks about father's needing to be in the lives of their sons. So, I'm guessing that David Tyree would continue to speak and see his son if he were gay . . . just don't give his son marriage equality. God wouldn't allow for that. That's too much acceptance. So, then again, maybe my football-loving dad is right --- just cut the gays out altogether.

Either way, I think David Tyree and my football-loving father have both fumbled the ball in this what-do-we-do-with-gays department. Where's the real love, the equality and the justice for all. No touch down here!

Former evangelical Baptist minister goes to Albany in support of Marriage Equality

2011-06-21T14:08:00.004-04:00

Rev. Steve Parelli,
former evangelical Baptist
minister for Marriage Equality
Albany, NY. June 20, 2011

By Steve Parelli
June 20, 2011
Bronx, NY

My "Marriage Equality Demonstration at Albany Capital, June 20, 2011" web page has the following items:

ABC 7 Eyewitness News video with Steve's poster board photo of Steve and Jose on their wedding day
WCBS-TV video of Steve with poster board wedding day photo
Nathaniel Brooks of The New York Times photo shot of Steve with poster board, wedding-day photo
Photo of Steve Parelli with David Tyree
Video of religious right singing
Letter to Five Key Senators
A personal writing on how I felt demonstrating

Former evangelical Baptist minister holds his gay wedding-day photo high above the opposition at the Albany captial same-sex marrioage demonstration

2011-06-21T13:48:00.010-04:00

By Steve Parelli
June 21, 2011
Bronx, NY

Rev. Steve Parelli holding
wedding-day photo

The euphoric feelings that caused me to breakout in dance! (Like David before the ark)

Outside the state Senate chambers in Albany, I danced down the hallways between two rows of the chanting, singing religious right who were opposing marriage equality. It was liberating.

I was standing at one end of the hall with other marriage equality supporters. This particular group from the religious right were lining both sides of the hall, separate from where we were standing.

I decided to walk between the rows of the religious objectors with my head held high -- with my wedding-day poster board photo held above. The picture said it all: I am a very grateful gay man for the wonderful partner, I believe, God has granted me.

I felt so victorious, so vindicated, so lucky to be me - a gay man - with a loving partner, that I began to dance as I walked.

At times I looked heavenward toward the ceilings of the hall in happy self-affirmation, as if God were smiling.

"This is my father's world" they sang. And I sang it, too. It was liberating to raise my voice in chorus with theirs, albeit our singing had to carry two-different implied meanings.

Rev. Steve Parelli displaying his wedding-day photo
before the religious right opposition. State capital,
Albany, NY. June 20, 2011

For one Christian (myself) to stand before one's opposition - other Christians (them) - and say "No, this is what I am before God as I understand God for myself," is the historic Reformation cry. It is the spirit of Protestantism: To know and believe in God according to the dictates of one's own conscience.

I was protesting in that spirit before today's inheritors of the ways of the Reformers.

And, like then, to protest openly, before your religious brother, against the generally accepted body of belief was for me, in these halls of the state capital, very liberating.

As a New Yorker and a former evangelical Baptist pastor, I urge you, Senator, to vote for marriage equality

2011-06-15T19:06:00.001-04:00

From: Stephen Parelli
To: flanagan@senate.state.ny.us; mcdonald@senate.state.ny.us; alesi@senate.state.ny.us; saland@nysenate.gov; grisanti@nysenate.gov
Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 6:54:39 PM
Subject: As a New Yorker and a former evangelical Baptist pastor, I urge you to vote for marriage equality

To: John Flanagan	(518) 455-2071	flanagan@senate.state.ny.us
Roy McDonald	(518) 455-2381	mcdonald@senate.state.ny.us
James Alesi	(518) 455-2015	alesi@senate.state.ny.us
Stephen Saland	(518) 455-2411	saland@nysenate.gov
Mark Grisanti	(518) 455-3240	grisanti@nysenate.gov

From:

Rev. Stephen R. Parelli, MDiv

Executive Director
Other Sheep
2962 Decatur Ave., 5D
Bronx, NY 10458
718-360-0884 (office/home)
347-497-0861 (cell)
www.othersheep.org

Re:

Please vote for Marriage Equality

Message:

I grew up in the Syracuse, NY, area. I now live in NYC with my partner of 13 years. We were married in 2008 in California. He is a native of Brooklyn. I was an evangelical Baptist pastor until age 44. I am now 58 years old.

My partner, Jose Ortiz - a guidance counselor in the NYC public schools - and I both grew up evangelical Christians and were both taught that our sexual orientation is an abomination before God. It will be decades before the evangelical church welcomes us, I fear. We trust we don't have to wait that long for our civil rights.

My conscience before God is clear. I am a gay man. By nature? By nurture? Or both? I don't know; but this I know: I am constitutionally gay. May New York State give me marriage equality irrespective of what religion may or may not teach about same-sex marriage; and may I choose to attend the church that best represents my views and my convictions about my sexual orientation.

Vote for equality; let the church be the church and let the state be the state. Please vote for equality. Vote for sexual minorities.

(My parents have cast their "vote" - they have chosen to not speak to me ever; they live in the Cortland, NY, area. If you listen to constituents like my parents -- like the James Dobson crowd -- you will vote no. My own parents have disowned me -- I pray my state will not disown me. My right as a gay man to marriage equality in no way hinders the James Dobson crowd's right to marriage; why do they choose to keep from me the rights they enjoy?)

------End of email to the Senators-----------------------------

Note: The above Senator names were provided by Citizen Link, A Focus on the Family Affiliate. Of course, I used Citizen Link's action alert to tell the senators just the opposite of what Focus on the Family was asking for.

Mobilisation Against the Hong Kong Police Action Over 2011 IDAHO

2011-05-17T00:15:00.001-04:00

Nigel Collett,
reporting. Photo
taken in Hong
Kong, July
21, 2010, by
Steve Parelli

From: Nigel Collett
Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 11:10:39 PM
Subject:
Mobilisation Against the Hong Kong Police Action Over 2011 IDAHO

Dear all at the BBC,

You may, by now, be aware of the HK (Hong Kong) Police interference with HK's celebration of IDAHO on Sunday. Various elements of the IDAHO Organizing Committee will be taking up protests (eg Amnesty International) and the TCJM, which was the Organizing Committee's leading group, will take a lead here.

Attached [below] is a letter from the TCJM Chairman, Reggie Ho, to ask you to consider helping us with action.

Please consider how you can help with the protest, either by writing to the Government (the Security Department), Legco Members or the media. Please also give this the widest circulation for others to action.

The legal advice we have obtained is that the Police have exceeded their authority and that there are good grounds for an official complaint, which we intend to make. HK legal precedent is clear that social and political events that include some form of musical or dance performance are not to be prohibited for routine reasons like 'obstruction' and that the right to assemble must be maintained. All previous LGBT events have included some form of performance and none has ever been prohibited before. No straight event has been prohibited at all. It is vital that the Police are not allowed to create a precedent by this action.

I will keep you informed as matters develop. If you do take action, which we hope you will, please keep us cc'd.

For some detail of the issue, see Raymond Ko's article on Fridae.com at:

http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/2011/05/16/10876.hong-kong-police-interrupts-idaho-rally-programme-cut-short?n=sec

Yours ever

Nigel

Nigel Collett
Joint English Secretary
TCJM
Mobile: (852) 6977 2798
Website: www.tcjm.org

----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Tongzhi,

By now, you may have heard that the Hong Kong Police interfered in last Sunday’s International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO) rally in Causeway Bay, organised by Amnesty International, Gay Harmony, Rainbow of Hong Kong, Tongzhi Community Joint Meeting and Transgender Resource Center.

Some twenty policemen turned up with a video camera, demanding a dancing segment of the event to stop immediately because it had not obtained a license for public entertainment. They also started filming the crowd, stone-faced. Not wanting the incident to escalate and compromise the rest of the programme, a decision was made to stop the dance performance as requested. After more videotaping, the troop of policemen left.

The police action was wrong on many fronts:

1. As legislator James To has been quoted in Ming Pao saying, the police was misguided in using Chapter 172, the law regulating entertainment in public places, as the cause for action because an organision expressing opinions with dance is not entertainment.

2. In a recent Court of Final Appeal case of Yueng May-Wan v HKSAR (2004), which was an appeal against a criminal conviction for obstruction of a public place, the CFA judges said that freedoms of opinion, expression and assembly are fundamental rights enshrined in the Basic Law, which supersedes common law. In the same vein, the police should have viewed the performance in the context of it being part of a peaceful demonstration, a right protected by under Art 27 of the Basic Law. In failing to do so, they acted in excess of their powers and thereby acted unlawfully even though a license may have been required in ordinary circumstances.

3. Many rallies with music and dance before took place without an entertainment license, including an Amnesty International Hong Kong event that was happening in Kowloon at the same time of the IDAHO rally. But the police only cracked down on the latter. Apple Daily has also pointed out that the annual Cheung Chau Bun Festival, which includes a lot of activities that can be construed as entertainment under this law, has never been asked to obtain such a license. The police was singling out IDAHO, for reasons unknown.

4. Besides acting on a shaky legal ground, the Hong Kong Police had also displayed a blatant lack of sensitivity towards sexual minorities. It is a well-known fact that sexual orientation and gender identity are tabooed subjects and people of different sexual orientations or/and gender identities often fear that exposure of their sexual identities would invite discrimination. It took many attendees of the rally a lot of courage to come to turn up. For the police to film them with such a disdainful attitude was uncalled for and insensitive.

Sexual minorities have long been oppressed and their rights infringed. We are not going to let the Hong Kong Police, whose job is supposed to be protecting our rights and not violating them, to take away our freedoms of expression. We must voice out our concerns on this incident and seek justice.

I call for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, as well as all supporters of human rights, to act.

o If you were present at the IDAHO rally when the police cracked down on it, you may file a complaint with the Independent Police Complaints Council for the officers’ filming of you being at the rally when you had not broken any law. These complaints need to be made by the person directly affected by the police misconduct. See http://www.ipcc.gov.hk/en/complaint_channels.html.

o Write James To (jkstolegco@gmail.com), chairman of the Security Panel at the Legislative Council. With complaints from us, he can then take the issue to the chamber and demand the government to investigate and respond.

o Voice out your thoughts by writing Apple Daily (Chinese) at forum@appledaily.com, South China Morning Post (English) at letters@scmp.com or any media outlet of your choice. A Chinese letter can be anything from 200 characters to 800, while an English letter is best kept under 500 words.

Speak up, let the Hong Kong Police and society know that you will not be victimized. This is our chance to show unity and get our point across.

In solidarity,

Reggie Ho
Chairman
Tongzhi Community Joint Meeting

Meeting gay and gay-friendly people on the Carnival Victory Caribbean cruise, April 17 - 24, 2011

2011-05-06T15:30:00.034-04:00

View from our Carnival Victory balcony,
late Sunday, April 17, 2011, just before
commencing voyage from San Juan, PR

By Rev. Steve Parelli,
May 6, 2011
Bronx, NY
Photos by Steve Parelli

Part I - A positive experience with all on-baord the Carnival Victory Caribbean cruise

Our six-day, seven-night Carnival Victory Caribbean cruise (April 2011), originating out of San Juan, Puerto Rico, was a gay-friendly, over-all straight, family-focused cruise. Daily programs were run for children and teens alike. For the adults, there was an adult-only deck area with fantastic views (from port and starboard sides), two whirl pools, open air showers, lounging chairs and hammocks.

In port at Bridgetown, Barbados, April 20, 2011

Our interaction with other people included speaking with a couple teens and children (generally when they were with their guardians), but mostly with other adults as well as a few crew members (who were always friendly, polite, and service-focused).

Entertainment
during
evening meal

We took in two evening shows (live entertainment), arriving late and leaving early. That was all. I preferred using my late evening hours by being on deck, hitting the exercise area, visiting with others, and retiring early in order to see the rising sun and our arrival into the next port. Early mornings you had the ship to yourself. People tended to party late into the night. I've always preferred my mornings!

Jose Ortiz on Carnival Victory Caribbean
Cruise, late Monday, April 18, 2011

Part II - "Friends of Dorothy" and Our meeting with a real fine and interesting gay man

Carnival publishes, in its daily newsletter (delivered to each room), a "friends of Dorothy" evening time and designated place where LGBT people on the cruise can meet if they choose to. Twice, Jose and I went to the "friends of Dorothy" meeting area. On one occasion no one else showed.

Jose Ortiz

On the other occasion we met a wonderful, retired, professional/corporate leader, world-travelled, gay gentlemen who joined us on two separate evenings for diner. He was a wealth of information and a great conversationalist. We exchanged contact information and planed to keep in touch. We discussed many things, including Other Sheep. He was interested in the book The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships (now available on Kindle for half the price of the paperback) and upon returning home to the Bronx I mailed him a complimentary copy.

Left to right: Jose Ortiz, Jonathan
Chavez and Steve Parelli

Part III - Other gay men we met on the cruise

But that was just the beginning of meeting gays. Our built in "gay-dar" (for "radar') was our most resourceful means for finding other LGBT people. (Not to overlook the fact that as an obvious gay couple we are a magnet for those who are LGBT interested.)

Jonathan
Chavez

Let me see what I can remember for gay encounters: We met an inter-racial, inter-generational American gay couple on deck 9 (the older spouse was confined to a wheelchair). Several gay men we met were from Puerto Rico and Jose was, with his Spanish (and good looks), an immediate tie-in.
We met Jonathan Chavez and his gay friend (both Puerto Rican) on our St. Lucia/Pitons cruise; we met a Puerto Rican gay couple travelling with a gay friend in the sauna in the men's locker room who introduced us to another Puerto Rican couple (travelling with their family) who are both active in their welcoming and affirming Presbyterian church in Puerto Rican.

Jose Ortiz and Steve Parelli, Brighton Beach, Barbados,
April 20, 2011.

On Brighton Beach (Barbados) we met an elderly gay Mexican from the cruise who had with him on the beach his adopted son, his daughter-in-law (the son's wife) and grandson (or son of the couple). On the lobby deck, while viewing the distant island of Martinique, I met another gay couple, and later that afternoon on the same deck Jose and I met yet another single gay Puerto Rican.

View of the Pitons, St. Lucia
from our stateroom on
Carnival Victory, early
morning, April 21, 2011

Often we exchanged room numbers to keep in touch and on at least three occasions we had other gay couples or individuals join us on our balcony. It was a great time.

Part IV - Gay-friednly people we met -- including some nurses from Jamaica who enthusiastically tagged their country as LGBT affirming (we polited offered our commentary)

Jose Ortiz on the
excursion to the
Pitons, St. Luica,
April 21, 2011

As for gay-friendly people . . . well, as far as we could tell, the whole ship of fellow-tourists was gay-friendly. We didn't find a single person on the cruise who appeared to be uncomfortable with our presence. And with whomever we spoke, they were always polite and often became engaged in conversation with us, some telling us of their pro-LGBT views, their long-standing gay friends and gay family members, or their religious backgrounds which either turned them on with inclusion and affirmation of LGBT people or turned them off with judgmental, condemning attitudes towards LGBT people.

We met a very friendly group of about five or more women from Jamaica traveling together. Most of them, if not all, were nurses. You could tell they were all friends. In the course of our conversation we asked them what the tone was in Jamaica regarding homosexuals (expecting them to report sadly the anti-gay sentiment there). "Very friendly," they assured us. "Very accepting." It was hard to let their comment slide and we gently offered them a different perspective from our point of view as a gay couple and the news, as we've heard it coming out of Jamaica, that Jamaica is a very, very homophobic country with a lot of hostility towards LGBT people. "We're changing," they assured us. And we continued talking about other things, making light-hearted conversation.

Jose Ortiz at the Pitons, St. Luica, April 21, 2011

Part V - The pro-LGBT attorney from Western New York

Steve Parelli on our
stateroom balcony at sunset,
Carnival Victory Caribbean
cruise, April 2011

A couple people spoke to us about their specific activism for gay rights and/or awareness. There was, for example, a female attorney from western New York who worked for gay awareness within her residential community by asking the community board members to involve themselves in an awareness activity about LGBT people. I think the idea was for board members to gain sympathy or empathy for LGBT people in their community. At least one member of the board refused to take part because of his or her religious convictions. The attorney was taken back but viewed it as a learning moment for her on the reality of the strong, divergent views in America on LGBT human rights and equality.

Part VI - A pro-LGBT family from Sacramento: His dad's gay and so is his wife's brother!

Left to right: David, Kimberly and Breana (photo
and story used by permission). Carnival
Victory Caribbean cruise, Pacific Restaurant,
Friday morning, April 22, 2011

Another very interesting meeting occurred Friday morning at breakfast in the Pacific Restaurant on the Carnival ship. Here we met David and Kimberly (life partners now for five years) and Kimberly's teenage daughter Breana (all pictured here in this blog by permission). David's father, now deceased, was gay. Kimberly's brother is gay.

View from Pacific Restaurant, Carnival
Victory ship, in port at St. Kitts. The
morning we met David, Kimberly
and Breana, April 22, 2011

And Breana, knowing and loving her gay uncle, appreciates her gay friends and is a pro-LGBT activist in her public school. Upon hearing that Jose and I were married in Sacramento, California, Kimberly, the wife and mother, told us about her activism against Prop. 8 in Sacramental,California, where they reside. They had a lot of wonderful stories to share. It was a remarkable meeting.

At one point I was close to tears with the overwhelming sense of their like-experiences and their heart-flet support as I explained how my immediately family - parents, three of my four children, one sibling, ex-wife - have totally ostracised me and Jose in the name of religion, i.e., "personal separation from the unrepented sinner."

Standing left to right: David, Jose Ortiz, and
Steve Parelli. Seated: Kimberly (left) and
Breana (photo and story used
by permission). Carnival Victory
Caribbean cruise, Pacific Restaurant,
Friday morning, April 22, 2011

Kimberly told me about her happy involvement in a Bible church for, I think, as many as five years, until an unfortunate conversation occurred between her and her pastor. Kimberly became distressed after one of her pastor's messages on homosexuality. She arranged a personal meeting with him in which she told him about her gay brother and how she totally accepts him. The pastor told her that homosexuals were going to hell and that if she supported them - with ideas of equality, human rights, affirmation - that she, too, would go to hell along with them. It's not easy to image how that meeting ended. Kimberly and her daughter left the church.

We exchanged contact information; have already connected on Facebook; and will at some point introduce them to Jose's cousin and wife who, like them, live in Sacramento, California, and who stood up for us when Jose and I were married there in city hall in Sacramento in August of 2008.

(In an email following the publishing of this blog, Kimberly Hardie wrote "That's [i.e., the content of the blog] completely fine. You might want to add that along with my brother, I have three gay nephews and several gay cousins.")

Part VII - How religion turned one straight sibling aginst her gay brother

Carnival ship at end of street,
St. Kitts, April 22, 2011

One individual we met shared how a straight family member, formerly very laissez-faire and very supportive of her gay sibbling had a personal conservative religous conversion experience and subsequentltly, to all the family members, openly declared her change of attitude from affirming LGBT people to condeming them. In particual, she felt she needed to make it known that she could no longer accept her own gay brother, something she felt strongly about in light of her new-found faith. What a sad story. The sister's stance redefined, to some degree, the relational dynamics of the family.

In Conclusion - A trip to remember

Sunset in the
Caribbean Sea

Victory is the perfect name for this Carnival ship. For us as a gay couple and the wonderful people we met, it was victory plus: love over hate, inclusion over exclusion, understanding over bias, acceptance over rejection.

A few LGBT people have told us that there is nothing like an all-gay cruise and that, from what they've experienced, there's no gay-attitude on the cruise which is hard to imagine (you know, the attitude that says looks is all that matters so that if you aren't beautiful you're not noticed - it exists in the heterosexual world, too). That being the case, we might try an all-gay cruise some time. But, if you're thinking about a straight cruise with gay-friendly people, then for us, as far as we experienced it, Carnival can be a good choice.

I was Gay and Closeted in Martinique in 1970; Now, in 2011 on a Caribbean cruise, I'm openly gay in St Lucia and I'm meeting "my counterpart."

2011-05-04T12:29:00.023-04:00

by Rev. Steve Parelli, published from the Bronx, NY, May 4, 2011
Photos by Steve Parelli

Part I - Some of the highlights of our nine-day vacation to the Caribbean

Steve Parelli (left) and Jose Ortiz on Carnival Victory,
in port at San Juan, Puerto Rico, Sunday, April 17, 2011

Last week, Jose and I returned from a nine day vacation in the Caribbean. For six days and seven nights we sailed the Caribbean Sea, visiting islands, on board Carnival Victory. We had a stateroom with a balcony. Our trip originated and ended in San Juan, Puerto Rico, where Jose and I tagged on two extra days of sightseeing Old San Juan before returning to our home in the Bronx.

Jose Ortiz, Brighton Beach,
Barbados, Wednesday,
April 20, 2011

While in ports on the Carnival Victory, we snorkeled (St. Thomas), did beaches (two: Barbados and St. Maarten), boated (to the World Heritage site of the Pitons) and did general sightseeing (like the home where George Washington lived when he was in Barbados at age 19). We purchased only two excursions on board Carnival (the snorkeling and the Pitons). Otherwise, while in port, we made it on our own - the world travelers we are - haggling transportation costs (with taxi drivers who doubled their fees); chance-finding a native (a police officer off duty) who drove us around Bridgetown, Barbados, for the cost of a beer together (we did tip/pay him, too! freely - there wasn't the slightest suggestion to do so on his part); visiting a good-Friday Wesleyan Methodist church service (St. Kitts); and just generally being our own guide at times. It was classic Steve-Jose abroad.

Part II - Remembering my first time in Paradise: As a Baptist youth of 17 years of age, I lived in Martinique in 1970 with American Baptist missionaries

Steve Parelli, on the Carnival Victory lobby deck, with Martinique
in the distant background, Tuesday, April 19, 2011

For me, the most memorable event of the cruise was viewing the island of Martinique from the quiet, little-visited lobby deck of the ship. For about three hours in the afternoon of our second day, Jose and I lounged on the lobby deck and watched the far distant purple outline of the west side of Martinique - from its Mount Pelée in the north to its mammoth Diamond Rock in the south, a diamond-shaped island off the south coast of Martinique.

Jose and Steve looking towards the central mountains
of Martinique from Carnival Victory, lobby deck,
Tuesday afternoon, April 19, 2011

The ship moved southward, gently over the waters. Martinique is only about 35 miles long -- if I remember correctly, but, happily, it took hours to pass its length at our lazy, sleepy speed; and then into the evening as we rounded its southern coast, St. Lucia was seen at our starboard side.

In 1970, when I was 17, I lived on the island of Martinique from August to December. I was a senior in high school. I was living with Baptist missionaries from America (with Evangelical Baptist Missions - EBM) who had opened their home to me for this cultural-missionary experience. I was this New York up-state boy in paradise – for a brief, memorable time I was in paradise. The American family I was living with did everything in their power to give me an exceptional yet realistic experience of life as American missionaries in Martinique. After all, I was in the process of enrolling in Bible college for the fall of 1971.

Jose and Steve on Carnival Victory
with Martinique in the far distance,
lobby deck, Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The missionaries had two lovely daughters - one a teenager who was very active and popular with the sizable Baptist youth group of the church of Robert (on the east coast, due east of Fort-de-France the capital). I've never forgotten this missionary family and the positive impression they left upon me. And now I was setting my eyes on Martinique for the first time since 1970. More than 40 years later. I was transfixed watching the island from the cruise ship. I recounted to Jose my memories and young impressions of Martinique, pointing out to him different localities on the island.

Part III - Meeting my gay self and my Baptist Martiniquan past, as it were, on the St. Lucia boating to the Pitons

Jose Ortiz (left) meeting Jonathan Chavez on our excursion
to the Pitons of St. Lucia, Thursday, April 21, 2011.

On our second day after seeing Martinique, we arrived in Castries, St. Lucia, from Barbados, approaching Castries from the south-western end of St. Lucia. In the early morning sunlight, we could observe the Pitons of St. Lucia from our balcony.

Once in port, we boarded the Catamaran Cruise with others from our ship for a four hour (round trip) excursion along the west cost of St. Lucia to the Pitons to the south. During this cruise, mingling with our shipmates from Carnival, Jose became engaged in a conversation with a young man, age 17, named Jonathan Chavez. As for me, I was trying out my non-existent one-sentence Martiniquean Creole (Mwe car parle Creole ti toc) with a mid-teen girl of St. Lucia who was helping behind the bar. Her father was captain of the boat. Jonathan, who is Puerto Rican, became very interested in what Jose had to say about Other Sheep (our worldwide work with LGBT people of faith). Jonathan is openly gay.

Steve Parelli (left) and Jose Ortiz, returning from
viewing the Pitons of St. Lucia. Thursday, April 21, 2011

In my corner, the St. Lucian girl with whom I was speaking found it very interesting that Jose was my husband for real (legally married in California in 2008) and that a life-time ago I had lived in Martinique when I was 17. After telling her I had lived in Martinique with Baptist missionaries, she told me about her Baptist youth group in St. Lucia (the very next island to the south of Martinique). I shared with her briefly my evangelical Christian journey in order to find common ground. I believe I also asked her if she knew anyone who was Christian and gay. As I often do, I was putting a face on the LGBT Christian community for this young Baptist Christian by telling her my story.

Jonathan Chavez (left), Steve Parelli
back), and not shown (but at right - see
shoulder), the St. Lucian Baptist teenage
girl who posed for this three-some picture,
Thursday, April 21, 2011.

Well, of course, I looked at gay 17-year-old Jonathan (the age I was when I was in Martinique in 1970) and the St. Lucian Baptist teenage girl with whom I was telling my religious-gay story - and I found these two young people a kind of type or representation from my past (I was already feeling nostalgic and sentimental). And when I asked if I could photograph them together (in this moment of sentimentalism, as I explained it to them) they were more than happy to oblige this older, gay-Christian gentleman. I remember Jonathan saying I could publish his photo and name on my blog. As for my new St. Lucian Baptist teenage friend - I don't remember if I received permission from her or not to publish her, but even if I did, my estimation is it would be best not to publish her here. She is only 14 or 15 at the most. But I am happy to tell you about her anonymously.

Part IV - Then and Now: I never thought in 1970, while living with missionaries in Martinique, that I would someday live in a world where Christians would be open and affirming about same-sex attractions

Steve Parelli in the early morning
sunlight, taken on our balcony;
Pitons in the background.
Thursday, April 21, 2011

So then, my present-day re-encounter with my long ago past was obviously very contrasting – a then-vs.-now real contrast. Then, in Martinique in 1970 I was closeted, although every bit keenly aware of my same-sex sexual orientation as I am now. I could never have shared that secret then with anyone within my religious circles – no missionary, no pastor, no Sunday School teacher or youth worker, no individual (in or out of the church) – I knew the consequences then (and I’m living with those consequences now, even in 2011: total ostracism from some). Now, however, I was openly discussing my sexual orientation with a Baptist youth of St. Lucia on a boat in the Caribbean Sea along the coast line of St. Lucia (the island to the south of Martinique) while at the same time an openly gay 17 year old Puerto Rican stood in the mix of people, speaking with Jose my legal husband.

Left to right: Jose Ortiz, Jonathan Chavez, and Steve Parelli
West coast of St. Lucia, Thursday, April 21, 2011.

Then – in 1970 in Martinique – I thought my sanctification was a process of growing in Christ which would, among other evidences of the Spirit being operative in me, manifest a day-by-day victory over my same-sex attractions. Now I rejoice, like others both straight and gay, both Christian and non-religious, in the sexual orientation which God has given me (or permitted me - nature or nurture, whichever the case). I celebrate the gift of sexuality and human touch and warmth with the life-partner I’ve been blessed to receive.

Jonathan Chavez, back
in port, Castries,
St. Lucia

Who would have thought then (1970), that I would be enjoying now (2011) the same wonderful aspects of love that heterosexual couples enjoy: intimacy, warmth, social and civil validity, emotional and physical connectedness, intellectual engagement, security, personal development and fulfillment within marriage, mutual support and respect -- all with one other single human being in a life-long committed relationship.

That's the difference between then and now. Then - Martinique 1970: a young closeted gay evangelical Baptist youth living with American missionaries. Now - St. Lucia 2011: an older, wiser gentleman graciously and openly embracing his sexual orientation since 1997, celebrating life in all its diversity, with the soul-mate God has gifted me with – my same-sex partner.

More than ever, the island of Martinique (symbolically) holds an inviting allure. How? By a life lived in the context of love instead of fear; by a life lived in union with another who is physically fitted to one’s self; by a life lived authentically – being true to one’s self; and by living, when at all possible, in peace with others.

End of day, leaving St. Lucia andthe Pitons (the twin peaks
at the far right). Not shown here, but Martinique, the island to the
north of St. Lucia, is in view from Carnival Victory
Thursday, April 21, 2011.

"An End to Antigay Aid?" - Article from Advocate by Michelle Garcia

2011-03-19T16:18:00.004-04:00

An End to Antigay Aid?
By Michelle Garcia

The House Financial Services Committee passed an amendment Tuesday that would discourage giving aid to countries that persecute their citizens because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. See the full article . . .

Rev. Michael Kimindu announces newly formed Other Sheep Afrika-Kenya (OSA-K) organizaztion; Other Sheep Kenya (OSK) dissolved

2011-03-18T08:18:00.001-04:00

Leaders continue the vision and spirit of Other Sheep East Africa and Other Sheep Kenya with new organization.

Rev. Steve Parelli reporting
March 17, 2011
Bronx, New York

In an email addressed to Other Sheep, Metropolitan Community Churches, Reconciling Ministries Network and Changing Attitude, Rev. Kimindu announced the formation of Other Sheep Afrika-Kenya.

The new organization came into existence largely due to qualifications stipulated in a recent email from a major African foundation to Other Sheep Kenya (OSK) in which it said Other Sheep Kenya would have to undergo major restructuring before additional grants could be awarded. In its email, the foundation cited, among other qualifying conditions, the need for OSK to clearly indicate its independence from all organizations outside of Africa. The foundation has been a major financial contributor to Other Sheep Kenya.

In his email announcing the formation of OSA-K, Rev. Kimindu, president of the newly formed organization, writes that OSA-K "wishes to retain our relationship with you as it has been, i.e., at the level of spiritual, intellectual and information sharing."

The new organization will work for all the marginalized - "orphans and vulnerable children, people living with HIV/AIDS, women [and] any person we feel is marginalized" - throughout all of Africa. The mission includes bringing "educational awareness on human rights, sexual identity and gender equality."

A new board of seven distinguished members (not including the president and the CEO) was formed. The board hired Rev. John Makokha as the Chief Executive Officer and Anne Baraza Makokha as Counseling Consultant.

Rev. John Makokha was appointed Regional Representative for Eastern and Northern Africa, Rev. Elie Gasana as Regional Representative for Central and Southern Africa, and Rev. Kimindu as Acting Regional Representative for West Africa.

The OSA-K board "approved that Other Sheep Afrika-Kenya shall be independent, autonomous and distinct in terms of management and operations [with] Other Sheep(USA)" and that "this should be reflected in the . . . website and leadership."

Rev. Steve Parelli, executive director of Other Sheep, in an email to Rev. Kimindu, president of Other Sheep Afrika-Kenya, recognized the newly formed organization and expressed his sincere desire to continue the friendship between the two organizations.

Rev. Michael Kimindu can be reached at mnk240@yahoo.com

Eulogy text "In Memory of David Kato," delieverd by Rev. Steve Parelli, January 30, 2011, in New York City

2011-02-01T14:15:00.008-05:00

In Memory of David Kato

Delivered at the

Love Alive International Sunday Memorial Service,
January 30, 2011, 4 PM

--meeting in the sanctuary of All Souls Church,
1157 Lexington Ave., New York, NY--

by Rev. Stephen Parelli

Executive Director

Other Sheep

[click here for photos of David Kato by Steve Parelli]
[click here for webpage featuring the Memorial Service]

David Kato
February 15, 1964 - January 26, 2011

Early Thursday morning a human rights activist, with whom I had been corresponding by email, phoned me from Uganda to tell me what I had just read in an email from Rev. Michael Kimindu of Kenya: David Kato had been brutally murdered. “You know,” the Ugandan activist told me over the phone, “David took pride in saying that it was he who brought Other Sheep to Uganda.”

Other Sheep is the worldwide ministry I work with to “connect people with people and people with resources” around the needs and concerns of LGBT people of faith in order to empower one another, and for the purpose of working together for the full inclusion of sexual minorities within their respective faiths.

It was true. It was David Kato who introduced Other Sheep to Uganda. In 2007 my husband and I were in Nairobi with the ministry of Other Sheep. Our plans had called for staying in Kenya, but a Kenyan clergyman with a mainline denomination, who was a closeted LGBT activist, was informing us that there was a David Kato, the Secretary of Integrity Uganda, who was urging us to come to Uganda. It was like the “Macedonian call” from the book of Acts: “Come over and help us.” We decided to use our last days in Kenya to make a short five-day visit to Uganda. Traveling by car and then by bus, we arrived in Kampala on Friday, August 17, 2007, between noon and one, and met David according to plans.

Rev. Stephen Parelli delivering
"In Memory of David Kato"
January 30, 2011
in the sanctuary of All Souls Church
New York City, NY

For three days we were closely tied to David. He took the first afternoon to help us settle in, to find an ATM machine, and, over pizza, to brief us on the previous day's press release given by Victor Mukasa, leader of Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG), and others. He proudly showed us the published news articles with photos of LGBT people with their faces covered. David further assisted us by sharing his residence with a Rwandan we met through the Internet in Rwanda who came to Kampala to meet us.

On the following day, from noon to five o’clock, David and three others – Larry of Nairobi, our friend from Rwanda, and a Pentecostal gay man from Kampala who had heard about Other Sheep through the Rwanda contact – spent these five hours together with Jose and me at an Ethiopian Restaurant, eating and drinking and talking activism and just getting to know each other. It was wonderful. At the end of the day, Jose and I invited the part of four – which included David – to come with us to our two bedroom Red Chile Hideaway cottage to spend the night and the following day with us. They did, and it was pure joy to be with other LGBT people of faith, - one from Kenya, one from Rwanda, and two from Uganda – all together.

That evening, David initiated putting me through on a phone call to the pro-LGBT Anglican Bishop, Christopher Ssenyonjo, and the Bishop and I spoke briefly by phone. Later that year, a book published in Uganda, featured an article written by the Bishop in which he mentioned “other sheep” and the book that Other Sheep distributes, The Children Are Free.

We had only been in Uganda a mere 24 hours and David was hosting a friend of ours from Rwanda, settling us in, briefing us on the recent activities of SMUG’s press release, socially engaging us and others, and connecting us with Bishop Ssenyonjo. In all of this, it was easy to observe that David was intense, a serious leader, active and aggressive, thinking ahead to the next step, as well as interactive socially, a team player, and part of the group. He was an initiator in investigating new possibilities, new materials, new resources. That’s how we experienced him.

But there’s more. It was on the following day (all of us up from a good night’s sleep – and yes, we did sleep –although some did talk late into the night) that David spoke to me about his wanting to write an editorial. He wanted to see if he could publish something in a paper in Kampala. He wanted to address the religious resistance already raising its ugly head in their collective effort. Remember, this was 2007. David was serious about this task and wanted my help. While the others in our group were somewhere about the Red Chile Hideaway compound, David and I sat ourselves at the cottage dining room table and applied ourselves to the task he insisted we do.

Steve Parelli, right, with David Kato
August 19, 2007, Red Chili Hideaway,
Kampala, Uganda
Working on the "unpublished" editorial

At my laptop, I opened a document I had created while in Nairobi some days earlier. Observing firsthand the anti-gay sentiment coming from the religious community in Nairobi, I had written my thoughts on toleration, the liberty of conscience, and the imperative that government and the church has no God-given prerogative to molest people because of their religious beliefs and practices – including the religious views and practices of sexual minorities. Of course, writing an essay like this was very therapeutic for a Baptist like me.

David was immediately drawn into the essay. He took it in like a sponge. Of course, the ideas expressed therein were not at all foreign to him. He was, after all, a human rights defender and he very aptly pointed out where the addition of a certain phrase or wording would serve to improve the writing. And it did. So, together we customized the article according to his comments and suggestions.

Even with David’s experience as a human rights defender, however, he found something in the writing that connected with him in a new way. He said to me, “How can I learn more about this.” The idea that two individuals could totally disagree on religious matters and be solely accountable to God without having to answer to either the government or to the church, but rather their right to believe differently would be protected by the civil government, this was, I could see, a powerful concept for David. Something we take for granted in the West, but something about which David said, “How can I learn more.”

The first paragraph of the editorial which we fashioned together, read thusly:

“Certain views from different religious leaders against the fundamental rights of homosexuals have been brought up in reaction to the LGBTI press release of Friday, August 17, 2007. A spokesperson of Integrity Uganda, a faith based Christian organization that maintains that the Bible does not condemn same-sex relationships, says the question of gay rights in Uganda is a fundamental human rights question and not a theological question.”

And, of course, the editorial went on to argue for and develop the main idea that “the question of gay rights in Uganda is a fundamental human rights question and not a theological question.”

"He saw the need for
African religious voices
to be joined and raised together
in defense of the liberty of conscience."

David said the editorial needed to quote some religious leaders in Africa. He said he wanted to ask Bishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, Bishop Christopher Ssenyonjo of Uganda, and Rev. Micahle Kimindu of Kenya to each provide a statement to be written into the editorial. He saw the need for African religious voices to be joined and raised together in defense of the liberty of conscience.

It was a remarkable afternoon with David and I will never forget it. It stands as one of the highlights of my experiences with Other Sheep in my travels worldwide – interacting with David that afternoon.

On the following day, while Jose and I were in town, we got a call from David over our cell phone to come immediately to the SMUG headquarters to advise them on how they might be able to answer the media with regards to questions on Christianity and homosexuality.

We spoke with five – including David – eager-to-know (all taking notes) SMUG members on how to respond to the Pentecostal community which was presently staging public protests against homosexuals. We gave them a two-track strategy. And again, all because of David’s interest in, and desire to connect the ministry of Other Sheep with SMUG.

--Jose Ortiz, left, with David Kato--
"And I have a picture of David with
his arm around Jose,
both of them eating their chicken on a stick
and David smiling a huge smile.
I caught it on camera."

Following that impromptu meeting with SMUG, Larry of Nairobi and David walked Jose and me back to a main part of town where we could get transportation. It was a bit of a walk. We chatted and talked, walking two by two, Jose with Larry, me with David. Larry and Jose were laughing some, happy, I recall, but David was still his serious self. I insisted we stop and eat “chicken on a stick” cooked over an open fire that one purchases on the street sidewalk. Jose was reluctant, but I begged him and won. It was at a busy intersection with people walking all about. So, together we got some chicken. And I have a picture of David with his arm around Jose, both of them eating their chicken on a stick and David smiling a huge smile. I caught it on camera. You didn’t see David smile much. He was a serious person; always looking as if the battle for freedom was constantly at hand. Anyway, that’s how he was with us these three days. But now, the four of us standing around a vender’s “chicken on a stick”, as if the battle was won, though perhaps not the war, David was smiling, he was happy, he was throwing his arm around Jose. As if the last few days of the intensity of the battle, in which he was in, was over for a moment, and the battle was won.

In heavy traffic he would take our hand or wrist; if he wanted us to move along fast he took our hand or wrist and led us, dragged us, and once I remember, just to show his affection , he took our hand just to take our hand – a common enough expression in many-a-lands around the world. A natural enough expression that says, “We are friends.”

But I wish to return to the editorial David insisted we create. It was never published in a Kampala newspaper. But, of course, I did publish it on the Other Sheep website, leaving the original form that indicates where David said statements from Tutu, Ssenyonjo, and Kimindu should be inserted. Leaving the title just as he wrote it, and leaving the heading that says: “News Release/ For Immediate Release/ Contact Person: David” [with mobile number and email address stated].

“For Immediate Release/ Contact Person: David.”

I would like to read a short segment of the editorial David and I customized together that Ugandan afternoon at the Red Chile Hideaway cottage. It reads:

"It must be said again and again in any society where religious teachings on homosexuality dominate, that the view of the religious majority is not to be legislated onto the views and practices of the sexual minority. As long as a gay man or woman does not infringe upon the rights of other individuals, the homosexual (who is often Christian) has the same right as his [or her] heterosexual counterpart, to interpret the Bible according to his or her understanding and to answer only before God (and not to the government or to the church)."

And the writing was headed: “For Immediate Release/ Contact Person: David”

David Kato immediately following
the SMUG - Other Sheep meeting,
Agust 20, 2007.
Kampala, Uganda

It says David, just David. David who? David Kato, born around 1968, died January 26, 2011, considered by many to be a father of Uganda’s gay rights movement. This week, The New York Times reported that David “was a high school teacher who had graduated from some of Uganda’s best schools. He moved to South Africa in the mid-1990s, where he came out.” The Times article also said, “A few years ago, David organized what he claimed was Uganda’s first gay rights news conference in Kampala, the capital, and said he was punched in the face and cracked in the nose by police officers soon afterward.”

Upon hearing of David’s death, Jose, my husband, wrote: “David was a determined, committed and diligent servant for the cause of equality for God's LGBT children in Uganda. He was one of God’s shining lights for justice. The embers of his fire will revive into a roaring blaze in all of us who remain to stand against the darkness of bigotry rooted in ignorance and arrogant religious fervor.”

David, we love you, we will miss you, we will never forget you. Thank you for your activism, for the life you lived and gave, on our behalf. As Jesus said, and did: “No greater love is there than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends.”

I will always see you as smiling David, like you were with Larry and Jose and me that afternoon after your intense three days – and more – of activism. Our figures stood golden by the rays of a sun beginning to close out the day. The vender and others cast glances our way. Who were we, the four, the laughing and smiling, eating our chicken as if it were a heavenly banquet prepared just for us? We were and are the victors, those who live for justice for all. We were smiling then, we are smiling now, thanks to Jesus who gives us the victory in loving our neighbor as ourselves. You were then, you are now, the victor.

Oh, and David, I hear the voices all across Africa. They are joining in with Desmond Tutu, Bishop Ssenyonjo and Rev. Kimindu – these whom you wanted to submit a statement to your editorial. The voices are coming, David. Africa is rising up. We know. We hear it. Because we see it through your persistent, patient, prophetic eyes.

For now, David, good night. The day is over. The huge golden, African sun is setting. We will join you in the morning and it will be a new day then for all. END

Above photo, left to right:
Rev. Joseph Tolton, Rev. Steve Parelli,
Rev. Stacey Latimer - host pastor, and Perry Brass.

Rev.Tolton preached,
Rev. Parelli gave the eulogy (above), and
Peryy Brass delivered a poem he wrote in honor of David Kato

January 30, 2011
Memorial Service for David Kato

Photos of David Kato: In Loving Memory

2011-01-28T09:01:00.006-05:00

Photos by Steve Parelli upon his Other Sheep visit to Uganda with Jose Ortiz, August 2007.

See the Report on their 2007 visit by clicking here.

To see the following photos on Steve Parelli's Facebook, click here.

David Kato at SMUG (Sexual Minorities Uganda).
August 20, 2007.
Photos taken by Steve. Jose and Steve in Uganda, 2007

David Kato (with Steve Parelli) working on an editorial on
homosexuality and tolerance, August 19, 2007, Red Chili, Kampala, Uganda.
Click here to see the editorial.

David Kato at SMUG (Sexual Minorities Uganda).
August 20, 2007.
Photos taken by Steve. Jose and Steve in Uganda, 2007

David Kato (with Steve Parelli) working on an editorial on
homosexuality and tolerance, August 19, 2007,
Red Chili, Kampala, Uganda.
You can see the editorial by cicking here

David Kato at SMUG (Sexual Minorities Uganda).
August 20, 2007.
Photos taken by Steve. Jose and Steve in Uganda, 2007.
Jose Ortiz is standing far right.

David Kato (with Steve Parelli) working on an editorial on
homosexuality and tolerance, August 19, 2007,
Red Chili, Kampala, Uganda.
Click here to see the editorial.

David Kato (right) and Jose Ortiz (left) after coming
from a meeting at SMUG (Sexual Minorities Uganda).
August 20, 2007.
Jose and David are eating chicken that we bought on the street.
Photos taken by Steve. Jose and Steve in Uganda, 2007

David Kato with Steve Parelli working on an editorial on
homosexuality and tolerance, August 19, 2007,
Red Chili, Kampala, Uganda.
Click here to see the editorial.

On knowing David Kato as a human rights activist; On the editorial on homosexuality and intolerance that was never published

2011-01-27T20:29:00.004-05:00

By Steve Parelli, Bronx, NY. January 27, 2011. All photos by Steve Parelli

David Kato, August 19, 2007,
on the Red Chili editorial

Today I learned the tragic news that David Kato, Ugandan activist for LGBT human rights, was brutally murdered in his home yesterday. I had just finished reading Rev. Michael Kimindu's letter of condolence to SMUG (via email), when a friend from Uganda phoned to tell us the sad news.

It was David who had invited Other Sheep to come to Uganda while Jose and I were in Nairobi during the summer of 2007. He had heard we were in Kenya and he wanted us to please come and meet Integrity in Uganda.

It was through him that the book The Children Are Free was first introduced to Uganda. Knowing of his interest that we should visit - and yet not knowing for sure if we would be able to make the trip, Jose and I sent 20 copies of The Children Are Free to David a couple weeks prior to our actual arrival in Uganda. While we were in Uganda, and because of the anti-religious sentiment publicly happening just then, David invited us, on the spot, to give a crash course to the staff of SMUG on the Bible and homosexuality. Which we did. We never saw such eager learners!

David Kator discussing the wording and ideas of
the Red Chili editorial, August 19, 2007

David asked me to write a news release in response to the Pentecostals who were making a public demonstration against SMUG and homosexuals. I used a recent writing I had written while in Nairobi a couple weeks earlier and together David and I customized it as a possible news release from Integrity Uganda (it was never published).

What follows is an excerpt from the unpublished editorial by David Kato and me, written August 19, 2007, at the Red Chili Hideaway cottages, in Kampala, Uganda.

"It must be said again and again in any society where religious teachings on homosexuality dominate, that the view of the religious majority is not to be legislated onto the views and practices of the sexual minority. As long as a gay man or woman does not infringe upon the rights of other individuals, the homosexual (who is often Christian) has the same right as his heterosexual counterpart, to interpret the Bible according to his or her understanding and to answer only before God (and not to the government or to the church)."

Click here to see the full editorial.

David Kato, left, with Steve Parelli, right, working
on the Red Chile editorial on homosexuality and
intolerance/tolerance, August 19, 2007.

There are two things I've never forgotten about David around this editorial which I had written in Nairobi and which we customized together in Kampala for Uganda -- (1) David was very good at making/using certain key phrases and words that articulated well the ideas of freedom and human rights for all people -- I was very impressed by this; and secondly (2) He was amazed at the idea of the separation of church and government and the idea of liberty of conscience (that no institution, secular or religious, had the right to dictate beliefs in matters pertaining to God and faith), and he asked me very directly and with a sense of urgency how he could learn more on this topic.

Today, Jose and I cried.

We cannot imagine what David must have suffered. We cannot imagine the hate that would shed blood. We pray, and we believe, that David's death will not have been in vain. He lived knowing he might die - so that others, some day, might live in freedom without the slightest fear of death or rejection because of their sexual orientation.

David Kato, working on the Red Chili
editorial, August 19, 2007.

There was Another who died that we might live. David gave his life for us. No greater love is there than this that a man should lay down his live for his friends. David laid down his life for us all . . . his friends.

Thank you, God, thank you, Jesus, for the privilege of knowing David.

Brutal Murder of Gay Ugandan Human Rights Defender, David Kato

2011-01-27T19:12:00.002-05:00

For Immediate Release: Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Press Release by Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG)

Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) and the entire Ugandan Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Intersex Community stands together to condemn the killing of David Kato and call for the Ugandan Government, Civil Society, and Local Communities to protect sexual minorities across Uganda.

David was brutally beaten to death in his home today, 26 January 2011, around 2pm. Across the entire country, straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex Ugandans mourn the loss of David, a dear friend, colleague, teacher, family member, and human rights defender.

David has been receiving death threats since his face was put on the front page of Rolling Stone Magazine, which called for his death and the death of all homosexuals. David's death comes directly after the Supreme Court of Uganda ruled that people must stop inciting violence against homosexuals and must respect the right to privacy and human dignity.

Sexual Minorities Uganda and the Ugandan Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Intersex Community call on the Police and the Government of Uganda to seriously investigate the circumstances surrounding David's death. We also call on religious leaders, political leaders and media houses to stop demonizing sexual minorities in Uganda since doing so creates a climate of violence against gay persons. Val Kalende, the Chair of the Board at Freedom and Roam Uganda stated that "David's death is a result of the hatred planted in Uganda by U.S Evangelicals in 2009. The Ugandan Government and the so-called U.S Evangelicals must take responsibility for David's blood!"

As United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon recently declared, "I understand that sexual orientation and gender identity raise sensitive cultural issues. But cultural practices cannot justify any violation of human rights. . . . When our fellow humans are persecuted because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, we must speak out. . . . States bear the primary responsibility to protect human rights advocates. I call on all States to ensure the freedom of expression and the freedom of assembly that make their work possible. When the lives of human rights advocates are endangered, we are all less secure. When the voices of human rights advocates are silenced, justice itself is drowned out."

David's life was cut short in a brutal manner. David will be deeply missed by his family and friends, his students, and Human Rights organizations throughout Uganda and around the world. Speaking about what the death of David means in the struggle for equality, Frank Mugisha, the Executive Director of Sexual Minorities Uganda said, "No form of intimidation will stop our cause. The death of David will only be honored when the struggle for justice and equality is won. David is gone and many of us will follow, but the struggle will be won. David wanted to see a Uganda where all people will be treated equally despite their sexual orientation."

Burial arrangements are underway for Friday 28, 2011 at 2PM at his ancestral home in Namataba, Mukono District.

Press contacts:
Frank Mugisha: +1 646 436 1858
Email. fmugisha@sexualminoritiesuganda.org

Val Kalende: +1 857-247-1184
Email. kalendenator@gmail.com

Pepe Julian: +256 772 370 674
Email. jpepe@sexualminoritiesuganda.org

In this film documentary: "Reverend Mark Miklos, who is one of the people who writes a letter to the editor decrying gay marriage, eventually accepts and embraces Joe Wilson"

2011-01-21T12:30:00.005-05:00

Submitted by Rev. Steve Parelli, January 21, 2011. Bronx, NY

A personal friend, who is currently making a documentary film on LGBT and religion in another region of the world, connected me just this week, by email, with Joe Wilson who heads up Out in the Silence, A Campaign for Justice & Equality. You may already know of him. If not, I’d like to introduce you to him here, and to his film Out in the Silence. His website is http://wpsu.org/outinthesilence/.

The following is a review by Nicole Pasini, San Mateo County Library

When Joe Wilson decided to place an announcement of his wedding to his partner, Dean Hamer, in the newspaper of the small town in which he grew up (Oil City, Pennsylvania), he inadvertently set off a storm of angry letters to the editor. He also got a very different letter from Kathy Springer, the mother of an out gay teen. In response, Wilson decided to return to Oil City and make the documentary Out in the Silence, which, like Small Town Gay Bar, highlights a poignant picture of gay life in small town America.

Out in the Silence focuses on the struggles of a gay high school student who is living with homophobia and daily harassment, and a lesbian couple who are working to open a theater in Oil City, and facing resistance because of their relationship. However, what makes Out in the Silence most moving are the stories of heterosexuals who transform because of their relationships with GLBT people. Wilson chronicles the development of his friendship with Reverend Mark Miklos, who was one of the people who wrote a letter to the editor decrying gay marriage, and who eventually accepts and embraces Wilson.

Kathy Springer’s story is also powerful, as she is politicized by the treatment of her son and the lack of support from school administrators, and decides to take the issue to the school district and then to state representatives.

Out in the Silence is recommended for all viewers and deserves a place in all library collections, particularly those libraries serving small and rural communities.

Our "Mystical" Visit to Thailand this New Year's Day 2011

2011-01-06T13:22:00.010-05:00

by Rev. Stephen Parelli, Bronx, NY. January 6, 2011

Rev. Dr. Kenneth Dobson (right)
and spouse Pramote, Summer 2009

Jose and I visited Thailand in the summer of 2009. We met many wonderful people in Chiang Mai, Mae Sot, and Bangkok. In Chiang Mai we met Rev. Dr. Kenneth Dobson and his spouse Pramote (legally married in Iowa, USA, fall of 2009) and had the privilege of staying in their home and meeting many of the young LGBT people to whom they minister. Since then, Ken has been a contributing writer to the Other Sheep website.

Where Jose and I were slept as
guests in the home of Ken
and Pramote, Summer 2009

On New Year's Day 2011, we received an interesting email from Ken. He wrote: "Thanks to a visit from [a Beijing contact you made this past summer], I feel mystically in touch with you two." While in Beijing this past summer (2010), Jose and I met a gay Christian who was moving to Bangkok for work. We told him we would put him in touch with Ken. Ken was able to put our gay Christian friend from Beijing in touch with a gay Thai Christian living in Bangkok. Turns out the two young men have formed a meaningful friendship --- and for New Year's Day they made the trip to Chiang Mai to visit Ken and Pramote and celebrate New Year's Day with the LGBT Thais. Hence, Ken was "feel[ing] mystically in touch" with Jose and me.

Some of the LGBT Thais that Ken
and Pramote minister to, Summer 2009

While we were in Chiang Mai in 2009, one of the LGBT young people had invited us to come back for their annual New Year's LGBT celebration. It sounded wonderful but it was a bit out of reach for us (to have to travel from New York City) and, to say the obvious, we didn't make it for New Year's Day 2010.

Steve (left) and Jose
at the Forbidden City,
Beijing, China, Summer 2010

However, this New Year's Day (2011) celebration was a bit different. Even though we weren't there in person, the contact that we had made in Beijing this past summer was there in Ken's home along with his new Thai friend from Bangkok. For Ken, in some kind of "mystical sense" Jose and I were there. Ken said the Beijing friend and he swapped stories of how their meeting Other Sheep came about.

For Jose and me -- well, we still haven't made it to the Chiang Mai LGBT's celebration of their New Year's Day, but this year we were there is some kind of special way! What a thrill, what a blessing, networking on behalf of LGBT people worldwide.

OUTTAKE makes an audio interview with Rev. John Makokha, Coordinator for Other Sheep Kenya

2010-12-21T09:32:00.001-05:00

Hear the audio interview that Rev. John Makokha recently made with OUTTAKE. The interview was made in two parts. The first part was published on November 24, 2010. The second part was published on December 9, 2010. Go the December 20th Other Sheep eNews which carries the links to the interview.

Focus on the Family representative Col. Bill Spenser's Faith-based Misguided Respeonse to the repeal of DADT: Says it will take a new war for us to reestablish DADT; that soldiers in the field will ask 'what moral madness awaits us next?'; and that citizens will not serve their country now that DADT is repealed

2010-12-21T08:47:00.007-05:00

by Rev. Stephen Parelli, Bronx, NY.

In an article published by CitizenLink, a ministry of Focus on the Family, Col. Bill Spencer, writing on the repeal of DADT says "What can change this now? Sadly, I think only a future war will have us rethink how we best organize our troops to fight and win wars. At that time, cooler heads will prevail, and we’ll determine who best should be fielded to defend us. The social curiosity that will have been the openly gay service experience will vanish as the nation — at great cost — rediscovers the real purpose for having a military."

According to the article, "Col. Bill Spencer (Ret.) served in the U.S. Air Force for nearly 29 years. He is now a family policy council representative at Focus on the Family."

I just had to blog this! I am really dumbfounded that evangelicals can not vote for equality on any level. Evangelicals, like Focus on the Family, see homosexuality as a moral determinative of American's future existence - to be or not to be - Gen. 19, the destrouction of Sodom and Gomorrah. For Focus on the Family, the repeal of DADT brings us closer to our own moral demise -- the "Sodom and Gomorrah" destruction. The Genesis 19 text has been misused for centuries; and now it abuses Focus on the Family.

Col. Bill Spencer goes on to write that soldiers "in the field are left with these thoughts: 'Does my country not think of me that much? Does the country think it should hobble its forces in the field with these distractions during time of war? Does the country require us to deal with this, as well? Am I indeed a patriot without a country? What moral madness awaits us next? When bullets are flying at me, and everyone back home is apparently just thinking about themselves and their own private behaviors, it’s too much to ask of me to sacrifice my life.' ”

Finally, he asks his "fellow citizen" if "after Saturday’s vote, would you give your life for our Senate? Would you give your life for our president? Or, would you go home to your family? Sadly, you know the answers already. If you never made a phone call or never entered the debate on this issue, it’s too late to care now."

According to Wikipedia, "Focus on the Family is one of a number of evangelical parachurch organizations that rose to prominence in the 1980s. A component of the American Christian right, it is active in promoting interdenominational work toward its views on social conservative public policy."

Baptists urged to observe Human Rights Day

2010-12-10T08:53:00.003-05:00

INFORMATION SERVICE from:

Baptist World Alliance
Eron Henry, Associate Director of Communications
Neville Callam, General Secretary
Website: http://www.bwanet.org/
Email: communications@bwanet.org
Phone: +1 703 790 8980
Fax: +1 703 893 5160

December 9, 2010

For Immediate Release
Baptists urged to observe Human Rights Day

Washington (BWA)--The Baptist World Alliance calls on Baptist churches around the world to make time during this season of celebration to reaffirm our commitment to human rights through the observance of Human Rights Day.

Human Rights Day is celebrated annually across the world on December 10 in honor of the United Nations General Assembly's adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the first global enunciation of that kind, on December 10, 1948.

For more than three decades, the BWA has encouraged Baptist churches to highlight this emphasis by promoting Human Rights Day. We urge all Baptist churches around the world to reaffirm this historical commitment by observing Human Rights Day on their days of worship on December 11 or 12.

2010 is the 62nd anniversary of the UDHR. The declaration has served as an ideal to be pursued by every nation, and has inspired the implementation of laws at national and international levels to protect the basic rights of individuals and peoples. A global movement for human rights has sprung from it, and has generated greater awareness not only of the intrinsic rights of every human being, but also of the existing violation of those rights in various places around the world.

Today, the principle of the sovereignty of the national state is understood vis-à-vis the respect for the basic rights of the individual. When those rights are not respected, the international community is urged to act through the mechanisms of international law and popular mobilization in favor of those whose rights have been violated irrespective of their nationality.

Human rights advocacy, however, is a continuous process and struggle. It is a constant battle against the evil of dehumanization and of disrespect for God's image in each person.

Theologically speaking, human rights spring from the theological understanding of human dignity, which is a gift from God to all human beings. Human rights are the socially constructed instruments through which human dignity is protected and promoted.

Human rights are reflected in the Judeo-Christian tradition, which includes the idea of the dignity of human beings created in God's image; the promotion in the Decalogue of respect for God and for the neighbor; the claim of the Hebrew prophets in defense of the poor, the widow, and the foreigner; and the incarnation of Jesus Christ and his call for the reconciliation of the world.

Furthermore, although we value the symbolism of the International Declaration of Human Rights, as Christians, we understand that declarations of human rights need to be fleshed out by men and women continuously committed to stand up for the oppressed.

Baptist theologian Thorwald Lorenzen stated, "The concern for human rights is intimately interwoven with the history and theology of Baptists." The origins of the Baptist vision were closely linked with the claim for religious liberty, for freedom of conscience, for freedom of opinion, and with freedom of assembly.

Already in 1612, Baptist pioneer Thomas Helwys had written down the first document in the English language that argues for freedom of religion for all people. His brave and bold words echo in the corridors of history to this day: "Men's religion to God is between God and themselves; the King shall not answer for it; neither may the King be judge between God and man. Let them be heretics, Turks, Jews or whatsoever, it appertains not to the earthly power to punish them in the least measure."

By observing Human Rights Day, Baptists join together in a strong voice to remind the world of our love for freedom for everyone and our commitment to justice everywhere.

Resources are available on the BWA website, http://www.bwanet.org/.
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Steve Parelli's note: I'm filling the pulpit at East Bronx Baptist Church. This announcement was past on to me since I am this Sunday's preacher -- to be included in the announcements. How wonderful! My exact sentiment on this topic, especially as a long standing Baptist.

See my writings on religious toleration, separation of church and state as applied to marriage equality:

So, Who’s Getting Married in New Jersey? by Rev. Steve Parelli

How Baptist Doctrine May Obligate the Evangelical to View Same-sex Marriage as Primarily a Civil Matter and a matter of Individual Conscience by Rev. Steve Parelli