Focus on the Family's cry for religious freedom ignors gay marriage

By Rev. Steve Parelli

February 15, 2012

Bronx, NY

When it comes to Obamacare, Focus on the Family President Jim Daly is crying freedom of religion, the free exercise of conscience and government noninterference. But when it comes to gay marriage, this Colorado Springs evangelical ministry asks the government to define marriage as one man and one woman.

In his Feb. 13th article entitled “What Every Christian Ought to Know about President Obama’s Healthcare Mandate,” Daly said, “In matters of faith and conscience, it is in the best interest of all Americans, of every ideological stripe, that this limit, this line, not be crossed.”

For decades Focus on the Family has hypocritically crossed that line: since gay marriage is not found in their Bible, it cannot be found in anyone else’s Bible, and government must back their Bible.

Daly needs to revisit gay marriage and “the free exercise of faith and conscience.” My conscience is fine with gay marriage.

This blog is an abridgement of Feb. 13th's blog:  Focus on the Family President Jim Daly and his hypocritical stance on the free exercise of conscience

My husband Jose and I met in February of 1997, 15 years ago this month

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all lovers, friends and significant relationships of whatever type -- however you define and experience your togetherness!

How Jose and Steve met: 

An Ex-"Ex-gay" Love Story

By Rev. Steve Parelli, Bronx NY, September 7, 2005

[Excerpt]

February 1997.  Calvary Baptist Church, 57th Street, Manhattan, New York. A Tuesday evening "ex-gay" support group called HOPE led by an "ex-gay" deacon of Calvary Baptist Church. That's where Steve and Jose
met.

Steve had arrived early that evening. Perhaps as much as forty-five minutes early. He had come in from New Jersey, about an hour and half travel time away. Though this was his first time to this "ex-gay" meeting, it was by no means his first attempt at "ex-gay" help.

Read more . . .

Jose Ortiz, left, and Rev. Steve Parelli
participants in the Soulforce Action at
Bishop Eddie Long's church.
Here, seated in the Hospitality Suit of
the church where the meeting
with the Bishop took place.

[Excerpt]

Steve stood and spoke intently with the first person who entered the room there on 57th Street, Manhattan. Then a second person entered and a third. The two of them stood close by and engaged in conversation with each other. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve noticed the third man, a handsome dark-skinned man of moderate height with Caucasian features, a Spanish-African New Yorker of Puerto-Rican decent. His name was Jose.

Read more . . .

Focus on the Family President Jim Daly and his hypocritical stance on the free exercise of conscience

by Rev. Steve Parelli
February 13, 2012
Bronx, NY

An abridgement of this blog was published on Feb. 15th:  Focus on the Family's cry for religious freedom ignors gay marriage

There is a limit to what government can compel us to do—or not do—particularly in matters of faith and conscience. It is in the best interest of all Americans, of every ideological stripe, that this limit, this line, not be crossed.  – Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family, February 13, 2012, in his article entitled “What Every Christian Ought to Know About President Obama’s Healthcare Mandate”

How interesting that Focus on the Family would ask “all Americans, of every ideological strip” to recognize that there is “this limit, this line [that is] not [to] be crossed.”  What is that line not to cross?  It is whatever pertains to the individual “in matters of faith and conscience.”  And rightly so.

Yet, that is exactly what the evangelical religious right has been doing for years with regards to its aggressive, persistent fight against gay marriage which  fight they justify primarily on the basis of their own brand of religious convictions.  Their faith and conscience do not allow for same-sex relationships in their lives and so they have determined that my faith and conscience should not allow for same-sex relationships in my life. 

Now, at long last, the religious right is crying out for religious freedom for themselves, just has have many LGBT and gay-friendly people cried out for religious freedom for gays and lesbians over the past several years since DADT and DOMA of the 1990s.  Religious freedom is now, suddenly, very precious to Focus on the Family; but when deciding against gay marriage, Focus on the Family was dead to the principle they now argue for.

As a gay Christian and a former evangelical Baptist minister, “in matters of faith and conscience” I am at peace with my Creator as it pertains to my same-sex union with my husband Jose for more than 14 years now (with whom I was legally married in California in 2008).  That the religious right would amend state constitutions so as to structure my life in alignment with their core beliefs on homosexuality is an affront against the United States Constitution and a total disregard for my right to live in accord with the dictates of my own conscience.

Yes, Mr. Jim Daly of Focus on the Family, it is in the best interest of all Americans, of every ideological stripe, that this limit, this line, not be crossed. 

So why is Focus on the Family crossing this God-given right, year in and year out, by waging battle after battle against gay marriage?  Because, as fundamentalists-at-heart, they are more beholden to the Bible (as they understand it) than, as good American citizens, to the practice of religious freeddom.

In the matter of gay marriage, evangelical religion has limited the free exercise of conscience and religious freedom.  Evangelical religion, in the matter of gay marriage, is unAmerican.  And I have Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, by his own words in agreement with me -- albeit he hasn't yet seen the obvious implications of his own words.

Paul uses these words 'against nature' (KJV) “to describe, not homosexual people, but Gentiles who characteristically engaged in same-sex activity, a characteristic that distinguishes them, not from heterosexuals, but from the Jews” (Elizabeth Stuart)

by Rev. Steve Parelli

February 13, 2012

Bronx, NY

“For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions.  Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another.” NRSV

The Apostle Paul

On Feb. 2, eleven days ago, I testified before the NJ Assembly Judiciary Committee hearings on Civil Unions vs. Gay Marriage.  While waiting for my turn to speak, and while watching the proceedings, I sat next to a very thoughtful college-grad, middle-aged, evangelical professional-like woman who, of course, did not share my pro-views on gay marriage.  When she learned I was formerly an evangelical Baptist minister, but now in a gay marriage with a spouse who was also from an evangelical background with a bachelor degree in evangelical theology, she was genuinely inquisitive about my view on scriptures and homosexuality.

“What is your view on Romans 1:26 and 27,” she asked.  “Email me that question,” I said, “and I’ll send you a summary statement that really wraps it up.”

Today I got her email requesting my statement on Romans 1:26 and 27.  In response, I sent her a link to a recent blog I had written on Romans 1, and copied and pasted into her email the statement from the blog that summarizes it all so well for me:

Elizabeth Stuart, in her book Gay and Lesbian Theologies: Repetitions with Critical Difference, says Paul uses these words “natural” and “unnatural” (“against nature” in the KJV), “to describe, not homosexual people, but Gentiles who characteristically engaged in same-sex activity, a characteristic that distinguishes them, not from heterosexuals, but from the Jews” [emphasis mine]. For all the exegesis one must engage in to grasp how Paul is not talking about homosexuality as we understand it today, Stuart’s statement is the best summary I’ve found and completely fits the context. Underline it. Save it. Repeat it to yourselves and others.



YouTube: First Gay Christian Wedding in Thailand

NOW ON YOUTUBE-

FIRST GAY CHRISTIAN WEDDING IN THAILAND

Officiated by Rev. Dr. Kenneth Dobson, newly named Other Sheep Coordinator for Thailand

Facebook page of Wedding Sahrah & Ngorh 11.11.11

BRONX, NY

by Rev. Stephen Parelli

February 12, 2012

In an email to Steve Parelli dated February 7, 2012, Ken Dobson reported: "This [YouTube video] is evidence of perhaps the first authentic Christian wedding of an open lesbian couple in Thailand. Anyhow, it was a good day here in Chiang Mai."

Rev. Dr Kenneth Dobson (right)
with his husband
(legally married in Iowa, USA)
Pramote of Thailand

In his November 2011 annual report to Other Sheep, Ken wrote: "On November 11 (2011) I will conduct Thailand's first Christian wedding of a lesbian couple. There have been other weddings of an indigenous nature (sometimes with a nominal Buddhist element), but there are no Christian pastors who are willing to break with tradition and risk reprobation."

Ken Dobson, who officiated the wedding, has a long history of ministry in Thailand, and, in more recent years, a unique ministry with and among LGBT people of Chiang Mai, Thailand.

In 2009, my partner Jose and I had the privilege of meeting Rev. Ken, staying in his home, and meeting some of the LGBT people among whom he ministers. At that time, Rev. Ken published some of his writings on our Other Sheep web site and assumed an active role of keeping Other Sheep abreast of his ministry in Thailand. Subsequent to the Other Sheep annual meeting of November 11, 2011, Ken accepted the role of Other Sheep Coordinator for Thailand.

In November of 2010, Ken spoke on a panel at a World AIDS Day weekend event on "Same Sex Marriage in Thailand." You can see his outline notes that he prepared for the panel discussion by clicking here and scrolling to the right.

Parelli's Remarks to NJ Assembly Judiciary Committee on Civil Union vs. Gay Marriage on YouTube

Blue Jersey, New Jersey's progressive politics and news, publishes to YouTube Rev. Steve Parelli's testimony before the Assembly Judiciary Committee on Civil Union vs. Gay Marriage February 2, 2012

Related Links The Star-Ledger photo of Rev. Parelli at the Senate Judiciary Committee meeting The News Release of Rev. Parelli's testimony on Civil Union vs. Gay Marriage before the Assembly Judiciary Committee The full written text of Rev. Parelli's testimony on Civil Union vs. Gay marriage before the Assembly Judiciary Committee

Press Release: Former evangelical Baptist pastor testifies in support of marriage equality before the New Jersey Assembly Judiciary Committee

Pastor tells committee Civil Union is a form of oppression
by Rev. Steve Parelli

Press Release –

Today’s Date:  February 3, 2012
For Immediate Release
Contact Person: 
Rev. Stephen Parelli
Executive Director, Other Sheep
Bronx, New York
718-360-0884

Speaking in support of gay marriage before the Assembly Judiciary Committee meeting in Trenton yesterday, Rev. Stephen Parelli told the committee he “pastored the Faith Baptist Church of Sparta, New Jersey, for about ten years before coming out in 1997 and starting, at that time, a new life with his husband Mr. Jose Ortiz.”

Parelli, who identified his “faith background [as] evangelical and Baptist,” said he married Ortiz in “2008, at the city hall of Sacramento, California” so that they “could care for each other legally” but “had no idea how impacting the marriage would be in terms of feeling equal like any other adult who lives and loves and marries.”  Parelli said the state of California gave him what the church and Civil Union could not:  equality and belonging. 

Parelli, adapting a quote from 19^th century abolitionist and Presbyterian minister Albert Barnes, said “no power out of the church could sustain discrimination against homosexuals for even an hour, if it were not sustained within the church.”

Parelli said “Civil Union is but another name for oppression.”  Citing his Baptist heritage, Parelli said concession and toleration are neither freedom nor liberty.  They are merely other names for oppression because they are the allowance of that which is not wholly approved.” 

Parelli told the committee members that they should not vote their conscience if their vote would “limit the free exercise of the conscience of others” and that it was for this reason that he opposed a referendum.

Rev. Parelli is the Executive Director of Other Sheep, an ecumenical Christian organization that empowers gay people of faith worldwide.  Since 2005, Rev. Parelli, along with his husband, has spoken in 16 countries in Latin America, Africa and Asia on the intersecting of religion and homophobia.  In 2009, Rev. Parelli, having been defrocked by his Baptist denomination, received clergy credentials from the Metropolitan Community Church.

You can read Rev. Parelli's full remarks to the New Jersey Assembly Judiciary Committee by clicking here