Marriage Equality has come to New York, my home state

by Rev. Steve Parelli

Bronx, NY

June 24, 2011

"If Christian mercy is gone, then at least Venetian justice still exists." - From the movie Dangerous Beauty.

New York passes Marriage Equality!

Where I could not find, as a gay man, "Christian mercy" within my own evangelical Baptist denomination and within my own nuclear "born-again" Christian family, I have, instead, been handed justice from my secular State. 

I grew up in up-state NY; my first senior pastorate was in Western NY where two of my four children were born; and NY is where I have lived with my spouse (married in California in 2008) since 1997.

Photo at left:  Rev. Steve Parelli at Albany state capital demonstrating for Marriage Equality, June 20, 2011.  Photo by Kelly Mapes

Bible characters David and Jonathan were lovers says my neighbor, Jonathan Atkin, in an email to NY Senators telling them to vote "Yes" on Marriage Equality

"President of Brandeis and Judaic scholar pointed out to me nearly 25 years ago, in the synagogue, during the high holidays, how King David and Jonathan were documented as lovers" - Jonathan Atkin

Editor's note :  Jonathan Atkin is my neighbor.  Jose (my spouse) and I met him by chance one day while returning from the subway to our home.  You guessed it, he's an openly gay man.  We've kept in touch.  He asked me for the names of the conservative NY Senators who are known to be in opposition to Marriage Equality.  Here's what he wrote them. I especially like the part about David and Jonathan - Steve Parelli

June 23rd 2011
Dear NY State Senators:

I am a captain and certified boat handler. To navigate in smooth seas, is never easy. To navigate in rough storms takes exceptional skills and leadership.

At the least, I expect leadership from the Albany Senate, not head in the sands or ducking into safe harbors on the threat of rain drops or political retribution. That is just wrong.

Pass the marriage act, now, that provides basic rights to same sex couples that other Americans take for granted.

Those of you who are hiding behind religious objections and obfuscations: SHAME. This is a country that has in theory, separation of church and state.

Those of you who need religious bolstering, my god father, now passed, and former President of Brandeis and Judaic scholar pointed out to me nearly 25 years ago, in the synagogue, during the high holidays, how King David and Jonathan were documented as lovers. Judaism at least nodded its history to reality thousands of years ago. It is more than enough time to act on this to bring the United States up to standards that recognizes universal rights for all. Otherwise our vaunted values of this country become a mockery.

If there are legal issues regarding venues, non profits and faith based groups that simply want to avoid law suits then, sure, write into the legislation their exemption. No big deal. There are plenty of organizations, venues, and others that will be glad to reap the millions of dollars in economic stimulus that equality of marriage will bring to them. The others, will be left out. Too bad.

In closing, after you pass this seemingly monumental legislation, in two years, everyone will be scratching their heads and saying, wow, what was all the fuss about? The world will continue to revolve, the US will continue to prosper, the heavens will not unleash biblical plagues and we will all be just fine.

So, stop the bickering, the small mindedness, resolve the issues and pass the bill.

Kind regards,

Captain Jonathan Atkin
Bronx, NY
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Former evangelical Baptist minister goes to Albany in support of Marriage Equality

Rev. Steve Parelli,
former evangelical Baptist
minister for Marriage Equality
Albany, NY.  June 20, 2011

By Steve Parelli
June 20, 2011
Bronx, NY

My "Marriage Equality Demonstration at Albany Capital, June 20, 2011" web page has the following items:

• ABC 7 Eyewitness News video with Steve's poster board photo of Steve and Jose on their wedding day
• WCBS-TV video of Steve with poster board wedding day photo
• Nathaniel Brooks of The New York Times photo shot of Steve with poster board, wedding-day photo
• Photo of Steve Parelli with David Tyree
• Video of religious right singing
• Letter to Five Key Senators
• A personal writing on how I felt demonstrating

Former evangelical Baptist minister holds his gay wedding-day photo high above the opposition at the Albany captial same-sex marrioage demonstration

By Steve Parelli
June 21, 2011
Bronx, NY

Rev. Steve Parelli holding
wedding-day photo

The euphoric feelings that caused me to breakout in dance! (Like David before the ark)

Outside the state Senate chambers in Albany, I danced down the hallways between two rows of the chanting, singing religious right who were opposing marriage equality. It was liberating.

I was standing at one end of the hall with other marriage equality supporters. This particular group from the religious right were lining both sides of the hall, separate from where we were standing.

I decided to walk between the rows of the religious objectors with my head held high -- with my wedding-day poster board photo held above. The picture said it all: I am a very grateful gay man for the wonderful partner, I believe, God has granted me.

I felt so victorious, so vindicated, so lucky to be me - a gay man - with a loving partner, that I began to dance as I walked.

At times I looked heavenward toward the ceilings of the hall in happy self-affirmation, as if God were smiling.

"This is my father's world" they sang. And I sang it, too. It was liberating to raise my voice in chorus with theirs, albeit our singing had to carry two-different implied meanings.

Rev. Steve Parelli displaying his wedding-day photo
 before the religious right opposition.  State capital,
Albany, NY.  June 20, 2011

For one Christian (myself) to stand before one's opposition - other Christians (them) - and say "No, this is what I am before God as I understand God for myself,"  is the historic Reformation cry. It is the spirit of Protestantism: To know and believe in God according to the dictates of one's own conscience.

I was protesting in that spirit before today's inheritors of the ways of the Reformers.

And, like then, to protest openly, before your religious brother, against the generally accepted body of belief was for me, in these halls of the state capital, very liberating.